Key Board Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

177 Results for Key Board

View 101 - 110 results for key board comic strips. Discover the best "Key Board" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2005's comic on:


Tags #share cubicle, #outrageous, #fight, #board of directors, #importance of teamwork

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Dilbert, we're low on space. You'll have to share your cubicle." Dilbert: "This is outrageous! I will fight this all the way to the board of directors!" share cubicle,"Hola. My name is Lola." "But then I remembered the importance of teamwork."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2005's comic on:


Tags #board meeting, #dipping employees, #varnish, #voted to fire you, #100 million, #1 million year

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert the CEO "The board has learned that you've been dipping employees in varnish and using them as office furniture." "We voted to fire you. Your severence package includes $100 million, the corporate jet, perpetual benefits and a salary of $1 million per year." "Bu-ya!" "He's taking it well."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2005's comic on:


Tags #faq for wedsite, #anticipate questions, #questionaire

View Transcript

Transcript

I hired Mr. Dogbert to write the F.A.Q. for our web site. "The key is to anticipate our customers' most likely questions." "Question 1: Where does your CEO live? I need to know so I can throw your cruddy project through his biggest window."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2005's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #fly on plane, #guidelines, #key employees, #ceo, #presdient, #same flight, #interns, #run with sciccors, #plastic bags, #over heads

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I have new guidelines on who can fly on the same plane." "We can't risk losing too many key employees." "The CEO and the president are not allowed to be on the same flight." "No more than three vice presidents may be on the same flight." "What are the guidelines for interns?" "Infinite interns are allowed on the same flight. You are also allowed to run with scissors and put plastic bags over your heads." "How many interns are allowed per plastic bag?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2005's comic on:


Tags #board meeting, #outsourcing, #ceo job, #26 million, #elbonian ceo, #good guy, #consulting contract

View Transcript

Transcript

Board Meeting "I recommend outsourcing your CEO's job and saving the company $26 million per year." "For $4 per year you can hire an Elbonian CEO who is just as good as this guy." "Now do you understand why you should have renewed my consulting contract?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2005's comic on:


Tags #web service satndards, #consortium, #approval review, #executive board, #review borad

View Transcript

Transcript

"We should join the industry consortium that's promoting web services standards." "Run that past the consortium approval review board and get a sign-off from the executive board of review board reviewers." "Do those exist?" "In a perfect world, yes."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

The product review board approved your business case for the government mandate. "Diversity is very important to this company." "What do you think 'government mandate' means?" "I've seen the way the mailman looks at me."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Blah, blah, blah, blah." "Uh-oh." "It's 2 o'clock and my brain has shut down for the afternoon." "Blah, blah, blah, blah..." "I have no idea what he's talking about." "This calls for some generic leadership." "Do a cost-benefit analysis, get buy-in from all the key stakeholders, and track the critical metrics." "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a conference call." push "How did anyone manage before there were fake conference calls?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Executive Compensation Review Board "How much should we pay our CEO if he just shows up for work?" "FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS!!!" honk honk "The clown makes a good argument." "Aye!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I'll ask the vendor for ballpark prices to see if the idea is feasible. "You can't talk with vendors until our change control board approves the project." "But that would require a cost-benefit analysis." "And I can't do that without ballpark prices from the vendor." "Just take your best guess." "So...I should make up a number so I can get approval to make a phone call and ask what the number should have been?" "Right. But first you need to get my approval to do the cost-benefit analysis." "Will you approve it?" "I'd have to see the numbers."