Lie Comic Strips - Page 11
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Character
116 Results for Lie
View 101 - 110 results for lie comic strips. Discover the best "Lie" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 04,
2019
Engineers Don't Lie
Tags boss, business, office, office workers, ceo
Transcript
the boss: i saw dilbert talking to the ceo. i think he's trying to undermine me. catbert: engineers don't lie. the boss: that's what worries me.
Thursday July 04,
2019
Centers Of Excellence
Tags lie, managers & supervisors, office, excellence
Transcript
the boss: make a slide deck that says our "centers of excellence" are creating more excellence. dilbert: do we have any data to support that claim? the boss: no. dilbert: you want me to lie? the boss: is that suddenly too much to ask.
Sunday July 14,
2019
Finding A Scapegoat
Tags business, office, project, ceo, scapegaot, climate change
Transcript
the boss: we'll need a scapegoat to blame for our failure on this project. dilbert: no one will believe it wasn't our fault. the boss: are you kidding? the boss: people will believe anything. the boss: we just have to be the first to frame the situation. dilbert: i suppose we could make our lie sound credible. the boss: that's overkill. dilbert: we don't need to sound credible? the boss: not even a little. the boss is in ceo's office. the boss: our project failed because of climate change. ceo: that sounds right.
Saturday December 28,
2019
Employee Engagement Survey
Tags managers & supervisors, underpay, senior, management, accurate, information, engagement, survey, important, underpaid
Transcript
boss: all out the employee engagement survey and make sure you lie like crazy. i don't want any accurate information to bubble up to senior management. dilbert: i've never felt less important. boss: good. that's why i can underpay you.
Tuesday February 11,
2020
Who Is The Fool
Tags business, install, server, upgrade, fool, lie, technology
Transcript
vendor: we can't finish the installation unless you buy our server upgrade. dilbert: that means you lied when you bid for the job, because you did not include a server upgrade. vendor: who's the fool now? dilbert: that would be me.
Monday June 01,
2020
Wally Has Symptoms
Tags lie, office workers, sickness, pandemic, virus
Transcript
Wally: My throat has a tickle, so I'd better take a month off of work. The coronavirus tests can have some false negatives, and I love you too much to put you at risk. Dilbert: Did it work? Wally: No, I sold it too hard.
Tuesday September 22,
2020
Omit Information
Tags business ethics, illness, managers & supervisors, business, project, summary, mistakes, ethical, lie, violation, context, face mask
Transcript
boss: when you write the project summary, make it seem as if we didn't make any mistakes. tina: you want me to lie? that would be a massive ethical violation. boss: no, no. i only want you to omit important context. tina: why does my stomach hurt?
Friday October 09,
2020
Wally Helps Coworkers
Tags accomplish, business, claim, co-workers, critical, help, lie, managers & supervisors, problem, teamwork, validate, face mask
Transcript
boss: what did you accomplish this week? wally: i helped several of my co-workers solve critical problems. boss: and if i asked them to validate your claim? wally: they're all huge liars.
Thursday October 15,
2020
Safety Record
Saturday November 07,
2020
Coffee Productivity
Tags technology, business, projects, productive, medical, coffee, lie, medical-grade coffee
Transcript
wally in meeting with boss and dilbert: i've been highly productive since switching to medical-grade coffee. i finished all of my projects and did an excellent job on every one. boss: wow! dilbert and wally in hall after: so that stuff actually makes you more productive? wally: no, but it does make me lie better.


