Lunch Hour Comic Strips - Page 11
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Dilbert Alice and Wally are eating lunch. Alice says, "I heard that a stack of your papers fell over and killed a cubicle cop." Alice says, "What did you do with the body?" Wally says, "I enrolled it in the quality workshop nextdoor." Dilbert says, "It's a temporary solution." Wally says, "The workshop is only three days."
Dilbert says, "...Well, that depends on many factors involving features and usage." A marketing guy glares. The marketing guy says, "Do you engineers have a secret pact to withhold all useful information? you haven't answered one question and it's already... um..." Dilbert says, "Two o'clock." At the lunch table, Alice and Wally grill Dilbert. Wally says, "We hear you gave information to marketing." Dilbert sweats, "Just the time of day. He would have found out anyway!!"
Asok and Wally areeating lunch in thecompany cafeteria. Asok says, "You're my role model, Wally." Asok holds a sandwich in his hands and says, "despite all the pressure and frustration, you press on. You bend but do not break." Wally says, "My motto is, 'They can't break you if you don't have a spine.'" Asok says, "Wow. You're like a philosopher!"
Dilbert says, "Did you go for a walk at lunch?" The Boss is wearing an over coat. He says, "Not exactly." The Boss hangs his coat on a caot rack and says, "I got a bomb threat. I didn't tell anyone else, just in case it was a hoax. Dilbert says, "It was only yesterday that I was saying my morale couldn't be any lower." The Boss sits behind his desk and says, "I bought a lottery ticket to increase the potential irony."
The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, this is Rex Tangle, our newest employee." Rex is completely square, with flat sides to his head and torso. The Boss says, "Rex was specially bred to work in a cubicle." Wally says, "Looks like he'll fit right in." The Boss says, "Ask him about his personal life." Wally says, "Rex, how's your personal life?" Rex says, "I don't have one. That would be like stealing from the company." A little heart showing love floats above The Boss's head. Wally and Rex walk off. Wally asks, "So, do you eat lunch?" Rex says, "I would enjoy a good square meal." Dilbert and alice are sitting in the company cafeteria eating their lunches. Wally says, "Meet the future." Rex says, "Hello, you round pegs!"
Dogbert stands on the kitchen table with a piece of paper in one hand and a pencil in the other. Dilbert sits, dressed in a robe eating breakfast. Dogbert says, "Here's my bill." Dogbert explains, "It's for all the time we've spent together when I didn't enjoy it." Dilbert reads the piece of paper. Dogbert says, "If it wasn't fun, it must have been work." Dilbert explains, "Dogbert, let me explain what friendship is all about." Dilbert says, "Friendship is about giving freely of oneself. It's about trust and sharing." Dilbert hands the bill back to Dogbert. Dillbert says, "Now, I expect you'll want this back." Dogbert responds, "Yes." Dogbert examines the bill. Dogbert says, "I need to round it up to the next hour." Dogbert hands the bill to Dilbert. Dogbert says, "No checks. You have the face of a deadbeat." Dilbert's shoulders slump. Dilbert sighs, "I don't think that I'm reaching you."
In the company cafeteria, Dilbert and Wally are eating lunch. Dilbert says, "I'd quit and become and entrepreneur, but I don't know how they handle such huge risks." Wally, his mouth full of food, says, "Denial, probably." Alice walks up with her lunch tray and says, "We got bought by our archrival this morning." Alice sits down and says, "Their CEO says he plans to be as 'humane' as possible." Dilbert says, "He sounds nice." Wally says, 'Maybe we'll get bonuses!"
During a staff meeting, Dogbert stands on the table holding his gun and says, "FREEZE!!" Dogbert is dressed as a policeman and says, "You scheduled a four-hour meeting to find out why people are behind schedule!" The guy says, "No, look at the agenda! The fourth hour is about why morale is so low. A woman next to him whispers to Dogbert, Shoot him."
The Boss leans against a desk or table and says to Dilbert, "I suggest that you deal with the issue on a going forward basis." Dilbert says, "Thanks for ruling out time travel. You're usually not that helpful." In the cafeteria, Alice, Wally and Dilbert are eating lunch. Alice says, "Are you saying he understands the concept of 'time' now?" Dilbert says, "Or he just got lucky on this one."
At the staff meeting, The Boss says, "Good news on your budgets. I did some recalculating last night." The Boss says, "I found a way to give more money to every project without increasing the total budget for projects!" Wally raises his hand and says, "Question: Does your new way involve poor math skills?" Wally has a question mark above his head. Alice puts her arm in front of him and says, "Ignore the skeptic. Hey, I have a suggestion!" Alice says, "Maybe you could recalculate the salary budget for next year." Dilbert says, "And when was the last time you recalculated the vacation days?" Wally, using his calculator wrist watch, says, "I calculate that we have an hour left for this meeting, but I'm interested in YOUR caculation." Dilbert, Wally and Alice walk out of the meeting counting stacks of money. Dilbert says, "I think we got greedy when we asked if he change for a five." They whistle as they leave.