Made Sandwhiches Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

331 Results for Made Sandwhiches

View 101 - 110 results for made sandwhiches comic strips. Discover the best "Made Sandwhiches" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lawyer, #court, #Dilbert, #whistle blower, #emplyer, #aaplets, #cookie data, #competing protals, #jury selction, #hungry, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Lawyer: Okay whistle blower, explain to the jury the alleged crimes pf your employer. ...Then our applets were designed to corrupt cookie data from all competing portals. Dilbert: Nice jury selection, Lawyer: So far you've made them hungry.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slipping again, #most severe, #disciplinary action, #watch eat, #monster

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits in the boss' office. The boss says, "Wally. your performance is slipping again." The boss says, "That calls for my most severe disciplinary action." The boss begins to eat a sandwich. Wally looks horribly shocked, his hair stand on end. Wally shakes. Asok says, "He made you watch him eat?" Dilber raises his fist and says, "Monster!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #save money, #cut used papaer, #little squares, #note pads, #less than hour, #print blank pages

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss sits at a conference table with a pad of paper in front of him. The boss says, "We can save money by cutting used paper into little squares to use as note pads." The boss says, "I made these in less than one hour." The boss says, "Not counting the time it took me to print the blank pages."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #most common metal errors, #hot day, #heel, #add anew category

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands in Dilbert's cubicle with a clipboard. Dogbert says, "In order to save time, I made a checklist of your most common mental errors." Dilbert says, "It'll be a hot day in hell before you need that, my friend." Dogbert looks at the paper and says, "I need a new category."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #few changes, #vinery idea, #unimaginative retread, #idea, #discredited, #energizing force, #chat, #manage someone else

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss brings Dilbert a piece of paper. He tells him, "Good idea, Dilbert ... I made a few changes and sent it out." Dilbert reads the paper and screams, "GAAA!" Dilbert says, "You removed the parts that made it a visionary idea!" As the Boss stares at him blankly, Dilbert continues, "Now it's just an unimaginative retread of an idea that has been widely discredited." Dilbert yells in shock, "GAAA! AND IT HAS MY NAME ON IT!" Dilbert collapses back on his desk, saying, "That idea was the energizing force that gave me strength to work." Dilbert yells, "NOW IT'S DEAD! YOU KILLED IT!" Dilbert lies backwards, his head on his desk, gurgling. The Boss says, "I'd love to chat but I have to manage someone else now."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #Catbert, #sick days, #unusual reasons, #imagined to be fly, #hair, #crazy reasons, #made up reason, #fake excuses

View Transcript

Transcript

CAption: "CAtbert: Evil H.R. Director" CAtbert says, "Wally, you've taken sick days for unusual reasons." Catbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "For example, one day you got sick because you "...accidently imagined what ir would be like if you were a fly." Catbert says, "And today it's your hair?" Wally says, "I lathered and rinsed but I don't remember repeating."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cynics annonymous, #fluorescent lights, #higher power, #naive optimism, #perfect emplyee

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert tells Dilbert: "Dilbert, you've become too aware of reality. I'm sending you to 'Cynics Anonymous.'" Catbert continues: "A higher power will help you regain the naive optimism that once made you a perfect employee." Dilbert says: "Why can't the higher power change me while I'm sitting here?" Catbert answers: "Fluorescent lights block his power."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cep, #obscenely wealthy, #guest house, #build house, #speech writer, #workers, #made him rich, #bragging, #condescending, #truth

View Transcript

Transcript

Ed stands at the podium and says, "As CEO, I thank you for making me obscenely wealthy." Alice, Wally and Dilbert continue to sit and listen. Ed goes on to say, "Yesterday, I built a guest house using bundles of cash as bricks." Ed looks down at his paper, thinking "I need a new speech writer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stress, #use as excuse, #not exercising, #made me the man

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says to Wally, "I got the stress everyone talks about. What should I do?" Wally answers, "Try using it as an excuse for not exercising." Asok asks Wally, "So...it's a good thing?" Wally replies, "It made me the man I am today."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hurt birds, #served chicken sandwhiches, #bird society, #audobon

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss is standing behind Dilbert. The boss says, "I just met with the Birdabon Society. I had to promise we won't hurt any birds." The boss continues, "Our caterer served chicken sandwiches for lunch." The boss says, "I pretended to give mine CPR but I was really eating it."