Nose Job Comic Strips - Page 11
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Character
991 Results for Nose Job
View 101 - 110 results for nose job comic strips. Discover the best "Nose Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday June 23,
1994
Tags called to brag, dogbert headhunting service, no skill, pays 100k, dogbert job
Transcript
"This is Dogbert's Headhunting Service." "I've got a job that pays a hundred thousand per year and requires no skill whatsoever." "No, I didn't say it's available. I called to brag about my own job."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday July 05,
1994
Tags project cancelled, answer, task delegated, craft response, boss delegating job, do nothing boss, fraud
Transcript
The Boss: Do you remember when the company President visited? You asked why your project had been cancelled. He promised to get an answer, That task has been delegated all the way down to me. Id like you to craft a response for me, You'll have to put your new project on hold until this is done.
Saturday July 16,
1994
Tags dimly lit cucbicle, carpal tunnel, crippled, last job, coal miner, gas explosion, new cubcile, canary
Transcript
"I guess it's time to go back to my dimly lit cubicle and see if my carpal tunnel has crippled me yet." "This is a lot like my last job as a coal miner, but without the threat of a gas explosion." "I'm moving you to a new cubicle over by Wally." "Better get a canary."
Wednesday July 20,
1994
Tags head of market research, 120k salary, value opinions, refrence, honesty, pay these days
Transcript
"I got a job as the head of market research at your company. I'll be pulling down $120 K per year." "I don't value otehr people's opinions so I'll just use my own." "Just for reference, how much does honesty pay these days?" "Shut up."
Sunday July 24,
1994
Tags downtrodden cubicle workers, form union, working conditions, salaried workers, against law, no overtime, no security, spines, demand bigger cucbilce, union dues, long hours, strap on spines
Transcript
"Hear me, all downtrodden cubicle workers!" "I have come to form a union to improve your working conditions!" "We can't join a union. We're salaried." "I think it's against the law, or something." "You've got long hours, no overtime, shrinking benefits and no job security. You must act now!" "You're confusing us with people who have spines." "Don't worry, I brought strap-on porta-spines for everybody." "I demand a bigger cubicle!" "Nobody will take advantage of us ever again!" "Now, let's talk about union dues." "Fair enough."
Wednesday August 03,
1994
Tags best assets, competitions worst, employees on job, hidden camera, imply, they work for competition, ad agency, dogbert's ad agency
Transcript
Dogbert's Ad Agency Dogbert: Your commercial should compare your best assets to the competition's worst. we'll use a hidden camera to film your employees on the job. The Boss: I missed something here... Dogbert: we'll imply that they all work for the competition . this isn't a documentary.
Sunday August 21,
1994
Tags proposal, alternatives, lobby government, tax breaks, idiot run businesses, quit job, new career, handing out towels, cow chips, bull shit
Transcript
The boss: Your proposal doesn't address the alternatives. Dilbert: There aren't any reasonable alternatives. The boss: There are always alternatives! Give me alternatives!! No wonder nothing gets done around here - not enough alternatives. typing: "we could lobby the government to give tax breaks to all idiot run businesses" "I could quit this stupid job and start a new career handing out towels at the gym" "Or we could use cow chips instead of microchips and save millions" The Boss: whats a cow chip? Dilbert: This job would be an example.
Monday August 22,
1994
Tags engineers, filberts job security, menacing statements, one option, reducing headcount, works hard, finish project
Transcript
Dilbert: The only way to finish the project on time is by adding four engineers. Wally: theres one other option. you could make menacing statements about filberts job security until he works five times as hard. Just kidding. hee hee! The Boss: Ive been thinking about reducing headcount.
Monday August 29,
1994
Tags prepare reports, outsourced jobs, write report, outsourcing, illogical
Transcript
The Boss: "I want all of you to prepare reports explaining why your jobs shouldn't be outsourced to consultants." "It is my job to write this report. But if I were a consultant it would make no sense to compare me to myself. Outsourcing is illogical." "For some reason, I'm not taking as much pride in my work lately."
Friday September 02,
1994
Tags classes at night, eleven cheerios, gaining knowledge, knowledge, work all day
Transcript
"I don't know how you do it. You work all day and now you take classes at night." "ZZZ" "It's hard, but you're gaining knowledge that couldn't be obtained any other way." "Whump" "Hey! I can hold eleven 'cheerios' in my nose!" "And it's knowledge you can apply."

