Questions Comic Strips - Page 11
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Character
221 Results for Questions
View 101 - 110 results for questions comic strips. Discover the best "Questions" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday March 02,
2006
Tags center of excellence, presidentail library, honoring lifes work, asking questions
Transcript
"I've been asked to design and build our center of excellence." "Which, as I understand it, is like a presidential library honoring my life's work." "In time, people learn to stop asking me questions."
Sunday July 09,
2006
Transcript
"Dilbert, I have a little project for you to do in your spare time." "What exactly is my 'spare time'?" "Well, for example, there's the time that normal people would use for dating." "And since you're not dating, you can trim a few minutes from your hygiene schedule too." "Then there's the time you spend daydreaming about a fulfilling life." "That's exactly like stealing from the company." "And your stupid questions - Those have to take at least an hour a day." "Are my questions stupid?" "Not as bad as your answers."
Wednesday September 20,
2006
Saturday December 02,
2006
Tuesday January 09,
2007
Tags heals itself, sales engineer, sales rep, totally true, truth vs.lies, questions
Transcript
Sales Engineer "Your sales rep told us that the product heals itself. Is that true?" Dilbert: It's totally true...that he said that. sales engineer: Let me ask this another way... Dilbert: NOOO!!! One way per question!"
Friday April 06,
2007
Sunday June 03,
2007
Tags ceo's meeting, boos, Dilbert, status on technology, platform migration, nothing to hide, 100 drunken clowns, beed in their underpants, decline in morale, pretending tow ork, get fired, hide things
Transcript
CEO Meeting The Boss: "I brought Dilbert in case you have any technical questions." CEO: "What's the status on the technology platform migration project?" The Boss: "Be completely honest. We have nothing to hide." Dilbert: "Well, okay." "The project is like a hundred drunken clowns with bees in their underpants." "I expect the decline in morale to lead to violence." "Most of us are only pretending to work while secretly hoping the project gets canceled after you get fired by the board." "It turns out that we did have a few things to hide."
Wednesday August 22,
2007
Tags stock holder meeting, gadflies, stock price dropped, sleep at night
Transcript
Stockholder meeting CEO: Do we have any questions from Gadflies? You earned 72 million dollars while our stick price dropped nine percent. How can you sleep at night? CEO: ZZZZZ
Sunday August 26,
2007
Tags no rasie, oo many questions, can't do job, saved emails, policies and procedures, misperception, buy software, permission, emails, another question
Transcript
The boss: "I can't give you a raise because you ask me too many questions." "That's a sign that you can't do your job." Dilbert: "I anticipated your misperception and prepared for it." "I saved all of my e-mails and matched them to your policies and procedures." "For example, this is your e-mail saying we need your permission to buy software." "And here's my e-mail asking if I can buy some software." "Should I run through the other seven hundred documented examples?" The Boss: "There you go asking another question."
Sunday September 02,
2007
Tags ceos son, joining dept., intern, mentor, little spy, tell hi dad, list of compliments, go somewhere, three questions, desk, kill him
Transcript
The boss: "Our CEO's son is joining the department as an intern." "I want you to be his mentor." "And by mentor, I mean don't let the little spy learn anything about us." "If he finds out what we do, he'll tell his dad we're doing it wrong." "Here's a list of compliments you can give him." "Tell him his assignment is to go someplace and study cool motorcycles." "If he asks more than three questions, kill him." Intern: "Where's my desk?" Dilbert: "That's one."


