Real Bother Comic Strips - Page 11

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View 101 - 110 results for real bother comic strips. Discover the best "Real Bother" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #power point zone, #real wolrd, #bullet points, #imaginary prodcutivity, #eight lsides

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I am entering the PowerPoint zone. "I no longer feel the need to change the real world as long as I can change these bullet points." "How much imaginary productivity did you have today?" "Eight slides!"

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We can't start designing the product until someone tells us what features it should have. "That's like saying you can't play on the beach until you know how many grains of sand there are." "Um...I don't think it's very much like that." "Analogy police. Come with me." "Are you taking me to jail for making a bad analogy?" "The analogy police don't use a real jail. We use something similar." "You'll be here with this beautiful woman." "Really? That's not so bad." "She's the one being punished." "Your necktie is like Hitler at an ice rink."

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"You know what's funny? I never studied engineering and I'm your boss." "In fact, I majored in...um...gosh, I don't remember." "You forgot your major?" "I don't bother remembering things I can write down."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Mail Room "My fake arm is here!" "Attach the fake arm to the real shoulder..." "I'll come back when he's off the conference call." zzz

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #catch and release, #ceo seminar, #hurt fish, #inform life, #new spouse, #philosophy, #set free, #spin off compnay, #without making decisions, #be decisive

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"Welcome to Dogbert's catch-and-release CEO seminar." "Catch-and-release is more than a way to hurt fish for entertainment." "It's a philosophy that will inform your entire life." "For example, when you acquire a new company, wait a few years and then spin it off." "When you catch a new spouse, wait a few years and then set it free." Boot! "When you golf, hit that ball into a hole and then take it out." "Your ultimate goal is to look decisive without making any real decisions." "Good seminar. It makes fishing more fun when you know it hurts them!" "Ouch!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new vice president, #billon dollars, #garbage barge, #oceanfront realestate, #open business, #barge

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"I worked all year on a project that got canceled today because we got a new vice president who didn't like it." "I made a billion dollars by convincing suckers that a garbage barge was oceanfront real estate." "Would you lend me some money so I can open my own business." "No, but I know some people on a barge who would."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"And that's how I made a billion dollars in shady real estate deals." "The moral of the story is that crime doesn't pay..." "Directly; it goes through escrow." "Dogbert, don't ruin the rat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Welcome to the monthly meeting of insane chicks." "Our speaker today is Betty, and her topic is 'All the people who are intentionally hurting us.'" "The breakout session is titled 'How to turn your imaginary problems into real ones.'"

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"I did a background check and discovered that you embellished your resume." "For example, there's no college named 'The Einstein One.'" "And I'm reasonably certain that 'Smartology' isn't a real major."

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"I want you to write a business case for lobbying our government to attack Elbonia." "In the risk analysis section, do you want me to assume that hell is real or imaginary?" "Real. But remember to discount the infinite future flows of agony to the present so it doesn't look so bad."