Schedule Meetings Comic Strips - Page 11

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299 Results for Schedule Meetings

View 101 - 110 results for schedule meetings comic strips. Discover the best "Schedule Meetings" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secret society, #executive secretaries, #subjugation, #humiliation, #misery, #afternoon, #schedule

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"Today is the day that the secret society of executive secretaries takes over the world." "Carol, what's on my schedule this morning?" "Subjugation, humiliation and misery! Ha ha ha!" "How's the afternoon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #performance review, #meetings, #too negative, #poo posed ideas, #cold fusion, #perpetual motion, #clothes dryer, #antigravity pants, #mri vending machine, #terrible ideas, #negative attitude, #tongue scraper

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"Performance review" "People say you're too negative in meetings." "Negative? When?" "According to the marketing department, you poo-pooed a number of their ideas..." "...The cold fusion scooter, perpetual motion clothes dryer, antigravity pants, MRI vending machine, and the list goes on." "Those are terrible ideas!" "Negative attitude!!! Gottcha!!!" "Okay, you're right. From now on, I will support all terrible ideas." "Good." "It's a tongue scraper and a frozen flagpole!" "Can it be electrified?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #kodos, #morale, #mascot, #meetings, #moral improves, #bear suit, #meeting, #low morale, #idea for imprvement, #business

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The Boss: "His name is Kudos, the bear-er of good morale!" "Kudos" "He's our new mascot. He'll attend all of our meetings until morale improves." "Today is Asok's turn in the suit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #created work, #email him, #end the madness, #meeting with boss, #pulling plugs, #request

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Dilbert: Carol I need ten minutes on the pointy - haired boss schedule. Carol: I don't let him have meetings anymore. Dilbert: what? Carol: Everytime he had a meeting it just created more work for me. Carol: It was always Carol, get me a file and Carol schedule another meeting. Obviously I had to put an end to the madness. Dilbert: I guess ic ould email him. Carol: You could try.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #removed all chairs, #more efficient meetings, #efficiency, #what looked like

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The Boss: "I removed all the chairs to encourage more efficient meetings." "The first item on the agenda is... Ow, ow! Legs so tired... Meeting adjourned!!!" Wally: "I always wondered what efficiency looked like."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accomplishments, #past 3 months, #cutsomers, #misconceptions, #objective, #home computer, #paraphase, #flew to wrong city, #upgraded computer

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The Boss: "What? You have no accomplishments this month???" "What did you do for the past three months?" Dilbert: "Well, I spent much of that time correcting misconceptions that you gave to our customers." "And I attended meetings with you to keep you from creating additional misconceptions." "I spent a month working on an objective that you forgot to tell me didn't matter." "I flew to the wrong city for a meeting because you confused Houston with Austin." "And I upgraded your home computer so you wouldn't have to pay someone to do it." "Allow me to paraphrase: Blah, blah, blah, you didn't accomplish anything."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vacation schedule, #more than accrued, #actual vacation, #remain upbeat, #quit, #quit on vacation, #slavery

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"Here's my vacation schedule." "Good." "Whoa! You're planning to take more vacation days than you've accrued." "It's okay because I'll accrue the days before the actual vacation." "No can do. What if you quit before then?" "I'm literally afraid to hear the answer to that question." "Think, man! If you quit and have vacation at the same time..." "I'LL BE DOWN TWO PEOPLE!!!" "It's hard to remain upbeat." "Do you still live here?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design one microchip, #dozens of meetings, #manager

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The boss: "All you did this quarter is design one microship." "In comparison, I found the time to attend dozens of meetings." "Now do you see what it takes to be a manager?" "Sadly, yes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #schedule message, #breakfast, #breakfast guy

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Five-Star Hotel "I'd like to order breakfast and schedule a massage." "Mmm...a nice massage and then breakfast." "Well, I WOULD 'get rubbin,' but I'm only the breakfast guy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #seat, #airplane, #cannibal, #sits next to, #hairy skull, #touch, #taunts

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FISH & AMMO "Why do I always get the seat next to the cannibal?" "These guys are all the same. I know what's going to happen next." "My hairy skull isn't touching you." "Right on schedule."