Social Media Comic Strips - Page 11
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204 Results for Social Media
View 101 - 110 results for social media comic strips. Discover the best "Social Media" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 13,
2014
Tags close friends, facebook, fix problem, friends, liked, posts, seven friends, therapy, shrink, popularity, social media, technology, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: No one "likes" my Facebook posts. woman: How many Facebook friends do you have? Dilbert: Seven. Woman: Are they close friends? Dilbert: How do you define close? Woman: Have you here invited any of these people to your house? Dilbert: Why would I do that? Woman: I can't fix your problem. SO instead , I'll plant some false memories and try to fox those later. Do you remember being a robot that was designed by alines? Dilbert: No. woman: are you sure? Dilbert: I was.
Wednesday August 27,
2014
Tags thinking, technology problem, executive attention netowrk, social awareness, radical change, sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: I have to warn you that I'll be going deep on a technology problem today. I'll be using the executive attention network of my brain at the expense of my social awareness. Boss: Sounds like a radical change. Dilbert: I can't tell if that was sarcasm.
Thursday August 28,
2014
Tags engineers, thinking, mental energy, executive attention, brain network, dangerous territory, surpasses last remnets, sociala awreness, misread social cues
Transcript
Wally: He transferred all of his mental energy to the executive attention network of his brain to solve a problem. This is dangerous territory for an engineer because it suppresses the last remnants of his social awareness. Expect him to misread social cues. Dilbert: They're here to kill me.
Monday September 15,
2014
Tags employees, managers & supervisors, power (social sciences), boss, emplyee, team members, decisions, all equal, saprtacus, business
Transcript
Boss: I dislike the words "boss" and "employee." From now on, we are all "team members." I'll be the team member that makes the decisions and gets paid the most. You'll be the team members I punish when things go wrong. Dilbert: But otherwise we are all equal? Boss: Whoa! Calm down, Spartacus.
Wednesday November 05,
2014
Tags ceos, leadership, obliviousness, public speaking, media, zero sales, staff resigned, fireing, wisdom, Entertainment
Transcript
Catbert: Our sales dropped to zero because you told the media we have a better product coming soon. And 95% of the staff resigned because you announced plans to fire 50% of them. Maybe it would be better if you never spoke to anyone again. CEO: How would people get my wisdom.
Thursday January 22,
2015
Selfie Camera
Tags frustration, inventions, priorities, selfie, social media, selfie camera, car steering wheels, ion powered car, share, slefies, facebook, technology
Transcript
Wally: I heard you invented a selfie camera for car steering wheels. Dilbert: Not exactly. I invented an ion-powered flying car, but all anyone cares about is the selfie camera in the steering wheel. Wally: Can you share the selfies on Facebook? Dilbert: Gaaa!
Monday February 16,
2015
Day Of Arranging Zeroes And Ones
Tags anti-social, communication, engineers, happiness, interaction, introvert, social interaction, socializing, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: Yay! I have another full day of doing nothing but rearranging zeros and ones. You know it will be a good day when there is no human interaction on the schedule. Tina: How's your day going? Dilbert: Well, it started good...
Sunday March 08,
2015
Tags catch-22, compliment, compliments, insult, insulting, work ethic, technical skills, perfect attendance, risk averse, no social life, irrational needs, code writing puppet
Transcript
Boss: You're a perfect employee in many ways. Dilbert: I am? Boss: For example, you have excellent technical skills. Dilbert: That's true. Boss: And your attendance is perfect. Dilbert: Yes, it is. Boss: And you are too risk-averse to quit and start your own company. Dilbert: What? Boss: Plus, you have no social life to interfere with work.Dilbert: Are these still compliments? Boss: Combine all of that with your irrational need for approval, and it makes you a code-writing puppet. Did I already say you're underpaid? Dilbert: Stop complimenting me!
Sunday March 15,
2015
Tags executives, ceos, raise, asking for a raise, compensation, money, wages, comparison, wage discrepancy, mansion
Transcript
Boss: I can only give you a 3% raise. If you want more, take it up with our CEO. Dilbert: I'd like to explain why I deserve more than a 3% raise. As a negotiating strategy, Dogbert will simultaneously read a media report about your lavish $85 million mansion. I invented three new technologies this year. Dogbert: "The toilets are solid gold." Dilbert: I wrote most of the code for our new product. Dogbert: "The helicopter pad is on the roof of the car museum." Dilbert: I worked eighty hours per week. Dogbert: "Every elevator has a full kitchen." Dilbert: I could earn more at Google or Apple... Dogbert: "Entire house rotates for optimal sun exposure." Dilbert: Do you see where I'm going with this? CEO: High-five?
Saturday April 04,
2015
Dilbert's App Evaluates Job Candidates
Tags social interaction, social media, coders, coding, engineers, friends, work ethic, social life, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented an app that evaluates job candidates based on their online footprint. Here's a guy with no friend, no hobbies, no family, and hundreds of high-quality code submissions to GitHub. Wait, that's me. Boss: Do you have any apps about other people?

