Solve Problems Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

216 Results for Solve Problems

View 101 - 110 results for solve problems comic strips. Discover the best "Solve Problems" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hired nancy, #lightening, #can't strike, #lighting strike, #invites problems, #medical school, #cadaver

View Transcript

Transcript

I hired Nancy because she's had so many personal problems in the past year. "I figure lightning can't strike the same place more than ten or twelve times in a row." "It's not as if she invites problems." "I'm in love with a medical school cadaver!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #serial personal problems, #in love, #medical school cadaver, #bad decisons, #acting cold, #boyfriend acting cold

View Transcript

Transcript

Nancy, the employee with serious personal problems Nancy: "I'm in love with a medical school cadaver." Alice: "Do you ever think that maybe your personal problems are caused by your own bad decisions?" Nancy: "How's it my fault that my boyfriend is acting cold?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #personal problems, #doctors, #opeation, #serial problems, #steady diet, #licorice, #diet soda, #spleen, #c4 explosive, #support group, #alqueda

View Transcript

Transcript

Nancy, the employee with serious personal problems Nancy: "The doctors say I need an operation." "They think my steady diet of licorice and diet soda turned my spleen into a C-4 explosive." "So I joined a support group. Have you heard of Al Qaeda?" Dilbert: "Gotta go..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management problems, #solve by yelling, #buying software

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: There are two kinds of management problems. "There's the kind you can solve by yelling and the kind you can solve by buying some sort of software." "That's why I created 'Some sort of software that yells'." The boss: "Ooo!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manage spreadsheet, #track things, #problems, #cute optimism, #pretty fuzzy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I've decided to manage by spreadsheet. "I'll track things until all of our problems fix themselves." CatBert: "Your optimism is cute." The Boss: "Thanks. You're pretty fuzzy yourself."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #org chart, #personal problems, #appendix, #health, #excuse, #drama

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, "Carol, did you update the org chart yet?" Carol: "No. I kept waiting for it to become more important than my personal problems. But it just never happened." The Boss: "how about right now?" Carol: "Ouch! I think that's my appendix!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drunken lemurs, #have talent, #busy, #fixing problems

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Why does it seem as if most of the decisions in my workplace are made by drunken lemurs?" Garbageman: "Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent." Dilbert: "Why are talented people so busy?" Garbageman: "They're fixing the problems made by people who have time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #problems, #solutions, #won't work, #moron

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Don't bring me problems, bring me solutions." Dilbert: "When I bring you solutions, you tell me they won't work and treat me like a moron." The boss: "What's the problem with that?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career day, #classroom, #guest speaker, #Dilbert, #engineering, #tells all, #explaining things, #to idiots, #make decisions, #misinterpreting, #massic=ve problems, #rumors overwhelm, #assign blame, #unpopular

View Transcript

Transcript

Career Day Teacher: "Class, today Dilbert will tell us what a career in engineering is all about." Dilbert: "My job involves explaining things to idiots.""Then the idiots make decisions based on misinterpreting what I said." "Then it is my job to try and fix the massive problems caused by the bad decisions." "Eventually rumors overwhelm facts, and I give up." "In the final phase, I assign blame to a unpopular coworker." "So whatever you do in life don't be unpopular." Teacher: "Don't listen to him!" Dilbert: "Said the unpopular teacher."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #5 minute huddle, #high energy, #standup meeting, #solved in minute

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I want the entire staff to meet at 10 A.M. every day for a five-minute huddle. The Boss: We'll use this high-energy stand-up meeting to solve problems and share successes. The Boss: Who has a problem that can be solved in a minute?"Wally: I'm tired. Can I sit on you?"