Strategy And Capabilities Comic Strips - Page 11
Search Filters
Year
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
170 Results for Strategy And Capabilities
View 101 - 110 results for strategy and capabilities comic strips. Discover the best "Strategy And Capabilities" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 11,
2012
Tags #efficiency experts, #golf, #management consultant, #initate, #golf tournament, #profits, #Sports
Transcript
Boss: I hired a management consultant to teach us something he calls backwards causation. Dogbert: I studied the most successful companies. If you imitate them, you'll feel as if you have a strategy. Number one: sponsor a golf tournament so your CEO can meet celebrities. Boss: Profits, here we come.
Thursday April 12,
2012
Tags #consolidating, #marketing, #illusion, #golf, #ceo, #money, #shared services, #Sports, #business
Transcript
Boss: We're consolidating our marketing into a shared services model. Asok: Why? Boss: Change creates the illusion that we have a strategy while giving our CEO an excuse to fire a VP who beat him at golf. And blah, blah, something about money. Asok: Must... not... cry... on the outside.
Sunday May 27,
2012
Tags #money, #budget, #last year objectives, #huge loss, #bottomline, #punish siuccess, #startegy, #management
Transcript
Boss: We've been asked to cut our budget by 30%. Dilbert: That doesn't make sense. We met all of our objectives last year. Boss: A different part of our company had a huge loss. Dilbert: Shouldn't you cut their budget, not ours? Boss: Their budget isn't big enough to make a difference to the bottom line. Dilbert: So our strategy is to punish success, and reward failure? Boss: Just do your job and leave the strategy to management. Dilbert: Hypothetically, if I do my job poorly, would that be good or bad for me?
Friday July 06,
2012
Tags #boss, #conference room, #dum idea, #meetings, #office dynamics, #stimulate innovation, #table
Transcript
Boss: What we need is an overarching strategy to stimulate our innovation. Dilbert: Or you could stop smothering the innovation we already have. Boss: That's the dumbest idea I've heard in my entire life. Dilbert: And there it is.
Saturday September 29,
2012
Tags #executives, #meetings, #new team, #company change startegy, #meetings turn awkward
Transcript
CEO: My new executive team got together and figured out the source of all of our problems. Dilbert: Is the problem that the executive team keeps changing, and that means the company strategy keeps changing? Wally: Is the problem that all of our meetings turn awkward?
Wednesday October 10,
2012
Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #gadgets, #competitor, #out of business, #next prodcut, #predictable mediocrity, #genius
Transcript
Boss: Good news! Our biggest competitor just went out of business! There was so much anticipation for their next product that no one bought the current one and they ran out of money. Alice: Our strategy of predictable mediocrity paid off again. Boss: It's okay to call it genius.
Thursday November 15,
2012
Tags #executives, #new strategy, #nimble, #meeting, #business plan, #business
Transcript
CEO: Our new strategy is to be nimble. Dilbert: Is that the same as saying our strategy is to have no strategy? CEO: Just do your job. Dilbert: Can I be nimble instead?
Monday January 14,
2013
Tags #managers & supervisors, #thinking, #twitter, #witty tweets, #power to destroy career, #abusing employees, #personal gain, #business
Transcript
Boss: Carol, create a Twitter account under my name and send out witty tweets every day. Carol: Buwhahahaha! I hold in my hands the power to destroy your career and your reputation! Boss: Every now and then I question my strategy of abusing my employees for personal gain.
Monday April 01,
2013
Tags #honesty, #work ethic, #mission, #vision, #core values, #no clear direction, #inappropriate websites
Transcript
Wally: Our mission, vision, strategy, road map, and core values are not aligned. So instead of flailing around with no clear direction, I plan to spend my days looking at inappropriate websites. Yesterday, when you said, "Bring me solutions, not problems," I hope you meant it.
Tuesday April 02,
2013
Tags #cannibals, #victims, #staving competition, #cannibalizing
Transcript
Dilbert: Our new product is cannibalizing our old product. Either we have a brilliant strategy for staving off competition, or our CEO is the victim of a bully. Bully: Ha ha! Why don't you stop cannibalizing yourself?