Time To Market Comic Strips - Page 11
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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'm putting you on a rotational assignment . . ." The Boss continues, "You will be working in marketing until further notice." Dilbert arrives at the entrance to marketing. A sign over the door says, "Two drink minimum." Everyone inside is wearing a robe and holding a drink.
A man holding a drink and wearing a robe and a wreath of leaves on his head says to Dilbert, "You look lost." Music plays in the background. Dilbert says, "I never knew that marketing was like this . . . Do you people do any work?" The man replies, "Well, not on 'Barbecue Tuesday.' Are you staying for lunch? It's unicorn!"
Dilbert sits in his chair reading and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs reading. Ratbert asks, "Why does Dogbert always get to sit on your legs and I never do?" Dilbert replies, "Because Dogbert is my best friend and you're just a disease-carrying vermin." Ratbert thinks, "Maybe this isn't the time to launch my 'family hug time' concept."
Dilbert and three people sit at a conference table. The woman next to Dilbert says, "Don't mind me today . . . It's almost time for my 'friend' to visit." Dilbert replies, "That's funny . . . I would think you'd be in a good mood if a friend were going to visit." Back at home, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "She looked puffy, but she struck like a cobra." Dilbert's glasses are bent, his arm is in a sling and his clothes are disheveled.
Dogbert sits on the hassock laughing. Dilbert says, "I know you're only trying to make me THINK you've played a prank on me!" Dilbert says, "Well, two can play this game, my friend." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the hassock laughing maniacally. Ratbert enters and asks, "Is this a bad time to visit?"
Dilbert stands at the stove wearing an apron and looking into a pot. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How can I tell when spaghetti is cooked?" Dogbert replies, "I'll have to wear the hat to answer that question." Dogbert walks back into the room wearing a chef's hat. Dogbert answers, "The spaghetti is done when you can throw it at the wall and make it stick." Dilbert thinks, "Seems odd . . . But he was wearing the hat." Dogbert hears, "Whap! Splash!" Dogbert says, "Preferably, one strand at a time."
Dilbert sits across from a man's desk. The man says, "Thanks for your time, Dilbert. It's always good to get the technical perspective." Dilbert says, "Hey, it's lunchtime. Would you like to join me in the cafeteria?" The man replies, "Ooh . . . No, I couldn't do that." The man explains, "I'm on the management track, so I can't be seen eating lunch with you." The man continues, "If I'm seen with an ordinary employee then people will think I'm ordinary." The man continues, "I'd like to eat with the senior executives, but of course they don't want to be seen with me." The man slides under his desk and says, "So I've perfected a method of slipping quietly away at lunch time." Dilbert turns to the reader and says, "The scary part is that someday that man will be my boss."
Dilbert stands in front of a customer service desk at a bank. Dilbert says, "I'd like to apply for a 'Bank of Ethel' credit card." The woman behind the desk says, "Sit down and shut up." The woman says, "It's 21% interest plus surprisingly high annual fees. We'll do a credit check and a full body cavity search." Back at home, Dilbert stands in front of Dogbert wearing just his boxers. Dilbert says, ". . . And I had to smile the whole time because they were filming it for their television ads." Dogbert says, "You have to admire their attitude."
Dogbert stands in a dark classroom holding a pointer and using an overhead projector. Dogbert says, "This is the story of Clayton the Auto Mechanic." Dogbert continues, "Clayton smoked cigars while working on gasoline engines. What problem did this cause?" The projector shows an explosion. A man wrapped in bandages says, "He was hit by lightning every time?" Dogbert asks, "Does anybody beside Clayton have a guess?"
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I invested all of my money in stock options." Dogbert asks, "What's an option?" Dilbert explains, "It's complicated . . . Basically, you give your money to a stock broker and he buys nice things for his family." Dilbert asks, "Do you have any snide comments?" Dogbert replies, "No, you took all the fun out of it."