Train Support Staff Comic Strips - Page 11

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View 101 - 110 results for train support staff comic strips. Discover the best "Train Support Staff" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr diretor, #personal lives, #strict dress code, #homes, #one less decision, #make every day

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At the staff meeting, Catbert says to Dilbert and Wally, "your personal lives reflect on this company." Catbert continues, "From now on, a strict dress code will be enforced in your homes." At home Dilbert says to Dogbert, "On the plus side, it's one less decision I have to make every day." He's wearing a coon skin cap, suspenders, a tu-tu and knee-high boots.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gullible fool, #sens anonymous letter, #curse of dogbert, #future senders, #chain letters, #wally flinch

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Swami Doghbert is at the staff meeting with Dilbert, The Boss and Wally. He wears a turban wth a cresent moon on it and says, "I've been hired to find the gullible fool who continues to send anonymous chain letters to everyone." Dogbert waves his hands in the air and says, "I place the Curse of Dogbert on all past and future senders of chain letters." The Boss looks like Dogbert (dog ears and dog nose) and says, "I think I saw Wally flinch." Dogbert and Dilbert stare at him.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pressure makes diamonds, #garbage more compact, #slogans, #meeting, #strong job market, #engineers, #irritation makes perals, #pressure makes whine, #business

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At the staff meeting, The Boss says, "Our new slogan is Pressure Makes Diamonds." Wally sits to one side. Wally says,"How about Pressure Makes Garbage More Compact? I wonder if that one is taken." Dilbert looks on as The Boss frowns. The Boss walks out followed by Wally, who says, "Irritation Makes Pearls. Or maybe Pressure Makes Whine." The Boss thinks, "I hate this strong job market for engineers."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good news, #budgets, #calculations, #salary bidget, #vacation days, #got greedy

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At the staff meeting, The Boss says, "Good news on your budgets. I did some recalculating last night." The Boss says, "I found a way to give more money to every project without increasing the total budget for projects!" Wally raises his hand and says, "Question: Does your new way involve poor math skills?" Wally has a question mark above his head. Alice puts her arm in front of him and says, "Ignore the skeptic. Hey, I have a suggestion!" Alice says, "Maybe you could recalculate the salary budget for next year." Dilbert says, "And when was the last time you recalculated the vacation days?" Wally, using his calculator wrist watch, says, "I calculate that we have an hour left for this meeting, but I'm interested in YOUR caculation." Dilbert, Wally and Alice walk out of the meeting counting stacks of money. Dilbert says, "I think we got greedy when we asked if he change for a five." They whistle as they leave.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chaos theory, #management, #name for it, #meeting, #confused, #business

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At the staff meeting, The Boss says, "From now on I'll be using the chaos theory of management." Wally, Dilbert, and Alice all have question marks over their heads and are confused. Wally says, "And this will be different how?" The Boss says, "Now there's a name for it."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #user manual, #typo, #technical calls, #phone sex place, #complaints are down, #customers

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Dilbert looks over his cubicle wall. The Boss says, "Our user manual has a typo. Our technical support calls are going to a phone sex place." The Boss says, "Complaints are way down." Customer's House: The customer sits at his computer and says into the telephone, "Well, okay, but... has that ever worked?" The voice on the other end of the line says, "No complaints yet."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogebrts tech support, #email, #tech support guy, #classical music, #mister radio

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Caption: Dogbert's Tech Support Tech Support guy talking on phone with Dogbert. Tech Support guy says, "I don't know how to use my e-mail." While sitting at his computer, responds, "You need to upgrade your I.Q. a few points. Try listening to classical music." Tech Support guy stares at radio with arms folded and thinks, "My old nemesis, Mister radio, we meet again."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogberts tech support, #software, #cat scan machine, #break room, #insert head, #trickster dogbert, #prnak, #cowoorker, #labor market, #engineering

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Caption: Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert on phone with Tech Support guy. Dogbert sitting at computer terminal with hand on mouse. Dogbert says, "Our software is perfect. The problem must be with you." Tech Support guy on phone with Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "Go to the cat scan machine in the break room and insert your head. I'll monitor you from here." Wally watches as Tech Support guy inserts his head into microwave. Tech Support guy says, "Do you see the problem?" Wally says, "I blame the tight labor market."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcarts tech support, #abuse, #slow internet, #records, #porn, #caused by porn

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Caption: Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert at computer terminal speaking to employee on the phone. Dogbert says, "How may I abuse you today?" Employee responds, "The Internet is slow. What causes that?" Employee sitting at his terminal speaking to Dogbert on the phone. Dogbert says, "That can only be caused by you looking at porn." Dogbert says, "I'll need your name for our records." Dogbert hears a "Click" on the line.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bonus, #discontinue, #profcits, #recorded message, #redirect, #serve customers better, #tech support, #evil

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Ted sits at the conference table next to Dilbert. He says, "We're discontinuing technical support of all our products." Ted continues, "A recorded message will explain it to the called this way..." Ted says, "'In order to serve our customers better, we've discontinued technical support.'" Dilbert looks at Ted and asks, "How does that serve customers better?" Ted answers, "We'll redirect those resources to other areas." Dilbert asks, "What other areas?" Ted replies, "Profits." Ted continues, "That makes your bonus larger. Any other questions?" Dilbert says, "Apparently I'm engulfed in evil." Ted says, "That's the spirit."