Ceo Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

627 Results for Ceo

View 101 - 110 results for CEO comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Has Management Potential

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Has Management Potential - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manager, honesty, insult, obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO thinks you have management potential. Dilbert: What did I do to deserve that kind of insult??! Boss: He called you a heartless monster. CEO: He speaks truth to power. I like it.

Resources Complain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Resources Complain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags leadership, language, jargon, manager

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I want to lodge a complaint against Dilbert. He called me a "resource." I find that offensive. Boss: Then he offended one of the resources. CEO: You're right. He does sound like a natural leader.

Looks Good But Won't Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Looks Good But Won't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ideas, impracticality, managers, leadership, threat

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The one they call Dilbert suggested we do something that looks good but won't work. CEO: Is this the first trace of management potential you've seen from him? Boss: You think it's a fluke? CEO: Let's keep an eye on it.

Estimating Software Completion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Estimating Software Completion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags estimate, deadline, questioning, delay, prediction

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When will the next version of the software be done? Dilbert: That's like asking me to estimate how long it takes a salamander to evolve into a horse. Boss: So... what should I tell our CEO? Dilbert: Try the salamander analogy. It worked on you.

Picking The Spaceship Staff

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Picking The Spaceship Staff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags space, space flight, rocket, death, sacrifice, astronaut, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How's the Mars spaceship project going? Boss: Good. I picked our worst employees to be on the first test flight, just in case it explodes. CEO: Good thinking. Boss: We have two ways to win and no way to lose.

Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting Corrected

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting   Corrected - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, lying, deadline, boss, executive

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Is the software finished as your boss promised me it would be? Dilbert: I forgot to go to the pre-meeting for this meeting, so I'll guess the answer is.. yes? CEO: Okay, keep up the good work! Dilbert: Thanks goodness he doesn't know what the truth even looks like.

Who's Turn To Lie

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Who's Turn To Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags excuse, excuses, deadline, lying

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO stopped by to see how long before we finish the new software. Dilbert: Whose turn is it to lie to him? Boss: I blamed Elbonian hackers last week. Dilbert: You're using all the good ones!

Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, sociopath, pathology, hit man, murder, killing, morals, emotions

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The famous cartoonist we hired to be our spokesperson said something bad on social media. Boss: Oh no. How bad is it? CEO: Our board voted to kill him. Do you know any sociopaths? Boss: I'm head of Engineering. CEO: Good point. Pick any one of them.

Ceo Fixes His Problem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Fixes His Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags product safety, danger, battery, recall, cell phone, samsung, media, Entertainment, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The press says I need to resign because of our exploding phones fiasco. Dilbert: Maybe you can change their minds by sending the press our new model that doesn't explode. CEO: I already sent them the exploding phones and said it was our new models. Your way left too much to chance.

Airport Scanners

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Airport Scanners - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags video, security camera, tsa, air travel

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I heard you appeared naked on Elbonian television. Dilbert: I did? CEO: The only television show in Elbonia is a live feed from their airport full-body scanners. Dilbert: That can't be true. CEO: One of our subsidiaries built the system. Here's you.