Charge Me Same Comic Strips - Page 11

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460 Results for Charge Me Same

View 101 - 110 results for charge me same comic strips. Discover the best "Charge Me Same" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2013's comic on:


Tags #employees, #ignorance (knowledge), #new guy, #first day, #calling in sick, #message, #problem getting dressed, #head in arm hole, #boss can relate, #business

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Carol: It's the new guys first day and he's calling in sick. His message says he was putting on his shirt and got his head caught in an arm hole. Good hire. Boss: I had that same problem with my pants.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2013's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #acknowledge contributions, #management

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Dilbert: I'd feel more loyalty to the company if management would acknowledge my contributions. Wally: If my job were as meaningless as yours, I wouldn't want management to notice me at all. Dilbert: You and I have the same job. Wally: I seem to be handling it better.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2013's comic on:


Tags #afterlife, #death & dying, #zombie, #truth about afterlife, #projecting, #curiosity

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Wulf: I was Schrodinger's cat back in the day. That's why I'm alive and dead at the same time. I know the truth about the afterlife because my dead half told my living half all about it. Do you want to know what happens? Wally: Stop projecting your curiosity on me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cats & kittens, #physics, #famous physicist, #zombie

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Catbert: This is Wulf. He used to work for a famous physicist named Schrodinger. He escaped before the experiment was finished and now he's both alive and dead at the same time. Dilbert: Like a zombie? Catbert: Uh-oh. Wulf: Wow. I have half a mind to be offended by that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #obliviousness, #pride, #incompetent, #phd, #pretending allowed

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Coworker: I have no real-world experience and I am incompetent at everything. But unlike any of you, I have a Ph.D., and that means you have to take me seriously. Dilbert: Is pretending allowed? Coworker: Totally. It all looks the same to me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2013's comic on:


Tags #secreatry, #booked flight, #smog, #hardened, #machete, #hack tunnel, #asthma attack, #treatment

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Carol: I booked you flight to the polluted capital of Albania. Their smog has hardened into a sold. use this machete to hack a tunnel through it. If you have an asthma attack the treatment is the same as for a sea urchin sting. YOu'll need to urinate on your lungs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2013's comic on:


Tags #astroid intercept missle, #fate of earth, #scientific equipment, #united nations, #science

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Boss: Good news! We were the low bidder for The United Nation's asteroid intercept missile. The fate of Earth depends on your combined talents plus my management skills. Wally, you're in charge of fissile material, which I assume is a type of soda.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2013's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #10 thousand hours, #practice, #willingness, #mental disorder, #mediocrity

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Dilbert: Studies show it takes ten thousand hours of practice to be great at anything. Dogbert: I would think a willingness to practice the same thing for ten thousand hours is a mental disorder. Dilbert: That makes me feel better about my mediocrity. Dogbert: You're welcome.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2013's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #questioning, #employees are happiest, #jobs give meaning, #sense of meaning, #bag of organ meat, #draped over, #electric fence, #psychology

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Dilbert: I read an article that says employees are happiest when their jobs give them a sense of meaning. What is this "sense of meaning" thing and how can I get some of it? Because I feel like a bag of organ meat draped over an electric fence. Boss: Almost the same thing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2013's comic on:


Tags #best customers, #combo pack, #creepy bearded guys, #potato chips, #retail business, #tissues

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Dogbert: Research shows that your best customers are creepy bearded guys. That same group also buys a high volume of potato chips and tissues. Boss: How's that help us? Dogbert: Two words: Combo Pack.