Copies Everything Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

303 Results for Copies Everything

View 101 - 110 results for copies everything comic strips. Discover the best "Copies Everything" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #secretaries (office), #work ethic, #filling in for boss, #workstation vacation, #being in charge, #pverarted, #martini glass, #drinking, #umbrella in drink, #secretary, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "I'm filling in for your boss this week, and I need twenty copies." Carol says, "That's not how it works. When he's out of the office I take a workstation vacation." Alice says, "I don't like being in charge." Carol says, "I hear it's overrated."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2011's comic on:


Tags #exhibitions, #honesty, #relations between the sexes, #chat me up, #mammary filter, #trade show, #free stuff, #job orders

View Transcript

Transcript

At the trade show Woman says, "Are you actually interested in this product or are you just trying to chat me up?" Dilbert says, "The show is too big to see everything, so I use a mammary filter to decide who I talk to." Woman says, "You use a what?" Dilbert says, "Do you have any free stuff or job offers?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2011's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #lying, #work ethic, #wasting time options, #two options, #truth or lie, #pin blame, #faster to hear lie, #document is perfect, #assign balme, #later say misinterpreted

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "Dilbert, your boss asked me to get your input on this." Dilbert says, "Absolutely, Ruth." Dilbert says, "We have two options for wasting our time here." Dilbert says, "Option one: I could tell you all of the things you should change, and you could ignore me as usual." Dilbert says, "Option two: I could lie, and tell you that everything is perfect." Woman says, "I prefer the lie. That way I can pin some blame on you if things go bad." Dilbert says, "Excellent choice. It's faster, and I can later say I was misinterpreted." Dilbert says, "Okay then, I declare that your document is perfect, under a certain set of assumptions that I won't list." The Boss says, "Did you help Ruth?" Dilbert says, "I'll say yes, but it's sort of a gray area."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2011's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #managers & supervisors, #couldn't be worse, #bad idea, #Funny, #project is bad idea, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "How's everything going?" Dilbert says, "It couldn't be worse." Dilbert says, "I was the only person who said this project is a bad idea. Then you assigned it to me." The Boss says, "It's funnier when I make them say it." Dilbert says, "Grrrr"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2010's comic on:


Tags #customer, #meeting, #attractive woman, #shake hand, #handsome man, #translate, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "The customer is an attractive young woman. You'll need to bring a handsome man with you to translate." The Boss says, "The translator will repeat everything you say, word for word, but he'll say it more handsomely." Dilbert says, "Hi." Customer says, "What's he jabbering about?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #drink coffee, #forget, #morning person, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I've already forgotten everything that was said at the beginning of this meeting." SLURP Wally says, "I used to think I wasn't a morning person, but things never got better after lunch."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2010's comic on:


Tags #stern, #client specs, #lion pecs, #angry, #yell, #question, #mishear, #avoid work, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "Wally, did you review the client's specs like I asked you to?" Wally says, "What?!" Wally says, "I thought you asked me to 'preview the lion's pecs.'" Coworker says, "Why would I ask you to preview a lion's pecs?!!" Wally says, "So... now you want me to question everything you say?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2010's comic on:


Tags #wdnw system, #wally does no work, #meeting, #acronym, #lazy, #get coffee, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I need to spend the next year optimizing the WDNW system" Boss says, "I've never heard of the WDNW system." Wally says, "You only hear about the systems that have problems." Wally says, "If everything goes as planned, you'll never hear about WDNW again." Boss says, "What does the WDNW system do?" Wally says, "It keeps our zeros and ones from accidentally forming tens." Boss says, "That can happen?" Wally says, "Not on my watch." Dilbert says, "How's the 'Wally Does No Work' project?" Wally says, "The acronym helped."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2010's comic on:


Tags #scope, #calibrated, #budget, #save money, #friend, #elrod, #shady, #tinker, #bad idea, #car, #bathrub, #drink, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Our scope needs to be calibrated. Do we have a budget for that?" The Boss says, "We can save a few bucks by sending it to my friend, Elrod. He likes to tinker." Dilbert says, "Everything about that idea is bad." The Boss says, "You should see the car he made from a bathtub."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #math, #project, #fail, #disaster, #embarrassed, #act dumb, #cancel, #buy, #question, #demonstrate, #hands up, #education, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "The math clearly shows that our project won't work, even if we do everything right." The Boss says, "It's embarrassing to cancel a project in the middle. Let's act dumb and hope someone in upper management cancels it for budget reasons." Dilbert says, "Should I stop buying stuff?" The Boss says, "You should buy twice as much."