Dead Comic Strips - Page 11
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191 Results for Dead
View 101 - 110 results for dead comic strips. Discover the best "Dead" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday November 07,
2006
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday November 06,
2006
Saturday July 23,
2005
Tags calculate expected value, pretend to be dead, cover ears
Transcript
Dilbert: The best way to make this decision is by calculating the expected value of each possible outcome. you multiply the... The Boss: Must pretend to be dead. Dilbert: I sense that were done here. The Boss: I hope the dead sometimes cover their ears.
Saturday April 02,
2005
Tags liar, bottle, voice, still lying, dead and lying, voice only
Transcript
The Cremated Habitual Liar" Liar: "I'm learning to salsa dance in here." Alice: "YOu are not sala dancing! You have not body." Liar: "Tell that to my dance instructor." "Focus!"
Thursday March 31,
2005
Tags liar, habitual liar, died, feel great, head is skull, attached to body, yoga
Transcript
The Habitual Liar Alice: "I thought you died." Liar: "No. I feel great!" Alice: "I'm sure you're dead. Your head is a skull." Liar : "I cut back on carbs." Alice: "Your head isnt' even attatched to your body." Liar"I take yoga."
Sunday March 20,
2005
Tags meeting, introductions, manager instinct, disengaged, mirror mannerisms, witty side comment, pledge loyalty, dead guy, business
Transcript
I missed the introductions. "I'll use my manager instinct to figure out who's important." "Only a senior executive could get away without looking so disengaged." "I'll mirro his mannerisms so he'll like me." "Now for a witty side comment." "Ha ha! That will happend when monkeys fly our of my nose." "No reaction! He must be so important that he has no sense of humor!" "I pledge my loyalty to you and only you!!!" "I heard that you pledged your loyalty to a daed guy." "At least he won't ask for much."
Saturday October 09,
2004
Tags drive by management, whats hi sanme, out run, answer no questions, need for clarification, we're dead
Transcript
The Boss: It's time for some drive-by-management. Don't forget to do the thing for what hs name or else we're dead. must ...outrun cries for.... clarification.
Saturday May 22,
2004
Tags Dilbert, co owrker, favor, being b=nice, nick names, spitting on grave, not dead
Transcript
"Hey, Dilby, Dil-boy, Dilly-dally, Dilbo Baggins, Dill Pickle!" "I need a favor." "Does it involve spitting on your grave?" "I'm not dead." "Well then, I guess we both need a favor."
Tuesday January 27,
2004
Tags deadly safety flaw, stock plunge, massive layoffs, ruined career, dead customers, hardest
Transcript
Asok: "Wally, I discovered a deadly safety flaw in our product. Who should I inform?" Wally: "No one. The stock would plunge and we'd have massive layoffs. Your career would be ruined." Asok: "But my negligence could cause the deaths of a dozen customers." Wally: "The first dozen is always the hardest."
Thursday September 04,
2003
Tags make exceptions, created on seeing machines, dead dinosaurs, animal prodcuts, naked, electricity from oil
Transcript
Mike the Vegan. Mike: I use no animal products whatsoever! Dilbert: Your clothes were created on sewing machines that used electricity from coal and oil, and those come from dead dinosaurs. Mike: I need to start making exceptions.

