Dog Nose Comic Strips - Page 11
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236 Results for Dog Nose
View 101 - 110 results for dog nose comic strips. Discover the best "Dog Nose" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 10,
1994
Tags ammunition, automatic weapons, bazookas, citizens, conversation about guns, dog, gun ownership, no ammunition, right to own guns, rocket launchers, weapons of choice, charlton heston, animals
Transcript
"What's your position on gun ownership, Dogbert?" "I believe everybody should have the right to own guns." "What about automatic weapons?" "I'm all for them." "Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers, too." "I believe that all citizens should have the weapons of their choice." "However, I also believe that only I should have ammunition." "Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of you Goobers with anything more dangerous than string." "What about Charleton Heston?" "I'd keep the string away from him."
Saturday April 09,
1994
Tags bad luck, lottery tickets, fabulous wealth, delight, hedonistic, yesterdays date, old, expired, scam, scammer, cheater, rat, dog, animals
Transcript
"Value priced lottery tickets" Ratbert: "I am drawn by the allure of fabulous wealth and a life of hedonistic delight...one please." "This is dated yesterday." Dogbert: "Ooh, bad luck. Try again?"
Friday April 08,
1994
Tags lottery tickets, sale, value, yesterdays lottery, half priced lottery, cheat, scam, Dogbert, salesman, scammer, office dog, customer
Transcript
"What makes these a 'value'?" "Value priced lottery tickets" "They're half the normal price, and yet the chance of winning is only one in ten million less." "Hey! This is for yesterday's lottery!" "And your point is...?
Friday March 25,
1994
Tags world ends, year 2000, creator, universe, counting system, round numbers, feeling anxiety, dog, rat, conversation, animals
Transcript
Dogbert: "I'm predicting the world will end in the year 2000." "The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers." "So you really want to avoid being, let's say, in mobile home number 1,000,000 in the year 2000." Ratbert: "I'm feeling anxiety."
Sunday February 27,
1994
Tags dog collar, keep track, employee slaves, final humiliation, cubicles, gerbils, rationalization, mechanisms, collar, 6 foot extension cord, dog, adapting, animals
Transcript
The Boss: "Here's your employee locator device." "Sensors in the building will be able to track you at all times." "We'll know how many times you use the restroom and how long." "It's a dog collar...the final humiliation." "Once you got used to working in cubicles like gerbils, we knew anything was possible." "My conformance rationalization mechanisms are kicking in." "It's not so bad. A collar is simply an efficient design. Everyone is doing it." "It's not so bad." "It's powered by this six foot long extension cord."
Sunday February 13,
1994
Tags insensitive, Dogbert, dog bashing, born this way, no campassion, feel bad, who cares?, insensitive about insensitivity
Transcript
"That joke was not funny. You're insensitive, Dogbert." "Well, here we go with the 'insensitive dog bashing'." "Is it my fault I was born without the ability to sense the feelings of others?" "Oh, sure, I wish I could be like you." "Somehow you know exactly what it feels like to a different gender, race, lifestyle or body." "But I'm insensitive. All I know is how I feel!! And I'm proud of it!" "But you'd understand that, if you weren't insensitive about insensitivity!!" "When you put it like that, I feel kinda bad." "Who cares?"
Friday February 11,
1994
Tags Dogbert, hit man for mob, get away with murder, cute, self complimentary, conversation
Transcript
Dogbert: "Have you ever noticed how incredibly cute I am?" "Look at this little black nose, soft furry ears, adorable little tail...with these looks I could get away with murder." "I'm thinking of becoming a hit man for the mob." Dilbert: "I'm glad we have these little talks."
Saturday December 25,
1993
Tags Dilbert, christmas, Dogbert, ratbert, dog, rat, tree
Transcript
Dilbert sits in front of the Christmas tree in his bathrobe. Dilbert says to Dogbert, who is tearing open his presents, "You really put the family through some major gift-giving guilt this week, Dogbert." Ratbert asks, "Family? Does that include little Ratbert?" Dilbert hands Ratbert a gift and says, "Welcome to the family, Ratbert." Dogbert says, "Don't expect much of an allowance."
Tuesday December 21,
1993
Tags ratbert, Dogbert, rat, dog, christmas
Transcript
Dogbert hands Ratbert a list and says, "Here's my list of Christmas demands, Ratbert." Dogbert says, "Since you have no money I included items which can be easily shoplifted." Ratbert says, "Thanks." Dogbert says, "Or you can check the box where it says you agree to be my personal valet for life." Ratbert replies, "I need to shoplift a pencil first."
Monday December 20,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, christmas, dog
Transcript
Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert hands Dilbert a list and says, "Here's a list of my Christmas demands." Dogbert says, "Follow the instructions and nobody gets hurt." Dilbert says, "You're bluffing. You wouldn't hurt my plastic window Santa." Dogbert holds the electric cord to the decoration and says, "One yank and he's off life support!"

