Emperor Has No Clothes Comic Strips - Page 11
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1000 Results for Emperor Has No Clothes
View 101 - 110 results for emperor has no clothes comic strips. Discover the best "Emperor Has No Clothes" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday September 20,
2018
Hiring Paul The Criminal
Tags Dilbert, the boss, job, market, competitive, ex-cons, work, criminals, caught, paul, data center, copper, wire
Transcript
The Boss: The job market is so competitive that we can't even find ex-cons who want to work here. So we're hiring active criminals who haven't yet been caught. The Boss: Say hello to Paul. Paul: I hear our data center has a a lot of copper wire.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday August 21,
2018
Wally Has An Idea For Carol
Tags carol, Wally, bike, compliment, insults
Transcript
Wally: I have a great idea for you. Carol: Keep it to yourself. Your ideas are always insults masquerading as helpfulness. Wally: You seem cranky. Have you considered riding a bike to work? Carol: Die, monster!
Monday August 20,
2018
Wally Has An Idea
Saturday August 18,
2018
Gravy On Keyboard
Tags Wally, tina, gravy, keyboard, coffee
Transcript
Tina: Do you know why my keyboard has gravy all over it? Dilbert: Oh, sorry, my phone rang while I was eating at my desk and I didn't have a napkin so I used your keyboard. Tina: I... Don't even know how to respond to that. Wally: Phew! That's what I was hoping.
Wednesday August 08,
2018
Comparing Things
Sunday August 05,
2018
Tags the boss, Wally, goals, employees, accomplishing
Transcript
The Boss: Did you achieve your goals this quarter? Wally: I sure did! Best quarter ever! The Boss: Really? I wasn't expecting that. Wally: What kind of manager has no faith in his employees? You need to trust me to do what needs to be done. The Boss: Um, okay, so... Which goals did you accomplish? Wally: You also need to trust your employees when they say they accomplished their goals. The Boss: I think I see where this is going. Wally: I was hoping you wouldn't.
Wednesday July 18,
2018
Elbonian Ninjas
Tags controversy, offense, offensive, threat, murder, ninja, optimism
Transcript
Boss: The sales video you made for our Elbonian market is causing a public relations crisis. Their government has ordered Elbonian ninjas to kill you in your sleep. Dilbert: In my sleep? The best way to die! Boss: Stop confusing my bad news with your good news.
Thursday July 12,
2018
Dilbert Is Misinterpreted
Tags assume, assumption, proof, obstinacy
Transcript
Alice: Is it true you are telling everyone the new product road map is stupid? Dilbert: Um... nothing remotely like that has ever happened. Here's an email in which I say how good it is. Alice: You hesitated in your answer. That means you're lying. Dilbert: Read the email!!!
Friday June 15,
2018
Dogbert Sells Life Advice
Tags Advice, motivation, meaning, existentialism
Transcript
Asok: How do I find meaning in my life? Dogbert: Nothing has meaning. The best you can do is postpone your own lonely and painful death. Asok: Are you saying I should take care of my health? Dogbert: What answer gets me the best review on Yelp?!
Tuesday May 01,
2018
Tracking Employee Theft
Tags surveillance, data, information, spying, privacy
Transcript
Carol: Someone stole my purse out of my cubicle. Catbert: No problem. We have security video nearly everywhere and we can track every phone that has our internal company app on it. Carol: That is mildly disturbing. Catbert: Here's a live feed of the perp in the third stall of the men's restroom.