Emperor Has No Clothes Comic Strips - Page 11

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1000 Results for Emperor Has No Clothes

View 101 - 110 results for emperor has no clothes comic strips. Discover the best "Emperor Has No Clothes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Hiring Paul The Criminal

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Hiring Paul The Criminal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, job, market, competitive, ex-cons, work, criminals, caught, paul, data center, copper, wire

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The Boss: The job market is so competitive that we can't even find ex-cons who want to work here. So we're hiring active criminals who haven't yet been caught. The Boss: Say hello to Paul. Paul: I hear our data center has a a lot of copper wire.

Wally Has An Idea For Carol

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Wally Has An Idea For Carol - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags carol, Wally, bike, compliment, insults

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Wally: I have a great idea for you. Carol: Keep it to yourself. Your ideas are always insults masquerading as helpfulness. Wally: You seem cranky. Have you considered riding a bike to work? Carol: Die, monster!

Wally Has An Idea

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Wally Has An Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Wally, alice, Dilbert, coffee, work, criteria, criticism

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Wally: I have an idea on how to fix our process. Alice: I've noticed that all of your ideas make everyone but you work harder. Wally: Apparently, we have different criteria for what makes an idea great.

Gravy On Keyboard

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Gravy On Keyboard - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Wally, tina, gravy, keyboard, coffee

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Tina: Do you know why my keyboard has gravy all over it? Dilbert: Oh, sorry, my phone rang while I was eating at my desk and I didn't have a napkin so I used your keyboard. Tina: I... Don't even know how to respond to that. Wally: Phew! That's what I was hoping.

Comparing Things

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Comparing Things - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, giraffe, solution

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The Boss: Your proposed solution has too many problems. Dilbert: You're not good at comparing things. The Boss: Pfft. I'm way better at it than a giraffe.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Wally, goals, employees, accomplishing

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The Boss: Did you achieve your goals this quarter? Wally: I sure did! Best quarter ever! The Boss: Really? I wasn't expecting that. Wally: What kind of manager has no faith in his employees? You need to trust me to do what needs to be done. The Boss: Um, okay, so... Which goals did you accomplish? Wally: You also need to trust your employees when they say they accomplished their goals. The Boss: I think I see where this is going. Wally: I was hoping you wouldn't.

Elbonian Ninjas

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Elbonian Ninjas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags controversy, offense, offensive, threat, murder, ninja, optimism

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Boss: The sales video you made for our Elbonian market is causing a public relations crisis. Their government has ordered Elbonian ninjas to kill you in your sleep. Dilbert: In my sleep? The best way to die! Boss: Stop confusing my bad news with your good news.

Dilbert Is Misinterpreted

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Dilbert Is Misinterpreted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assume, assumption, proof, obstinacy

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Alice: Is it true you are telling everyone the new product road map is stupid? Dilbert: Um... nothing remotely like that has ever happened. Here's an email in which I say how good it is. Alice: You hesitated in your answer. That means you're lying. Dilbert: Read the email!!!

Dogbert Sells Life Advice

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Dogbert Sells Life Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, motivation, meaning, existentialism

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Asok: How do I find meaning in my life? Dogbert: Nothing has meaning. The best you can do is postpone your own lonely and painful death. Asok: Are you saying I should take care of my health? Dogbert: What answer gets me the best review on Yelp?!

Tracking Employee Theft

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Tracking Employee Theft - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags surveillance, data, information, spying, privacy

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Carol: Someone stole my purse out of my cubicle. Catbert: No problem. We have security video nearly everywhere and we can track every phone that has our internal company app on it. Carol: That is mildly disturbing. Catbert: Here's a live feed of the perp in the third stall of the men's restroom.