Employee Comic Strips - Page 11
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Character
514 Results for Employee
View 101 - 110 results for employee comic strips. Discover the best "Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 06,
2016
The Entitled Employee
Tags millennials, entitlement, entitiled, lazy, work ethic
Transcript
The Entitled Employee. Dilbert: Did you finish your assignment for the project? Coworker: No, I was tired, and it looked hard. I assume someone does the hard stuff for me. Am I wrong? Dilbert: I need to have a word with your parents.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday February 24,
2016
Asok's Goal
Tags goals, employment, driver, ride share, rideshare, dream, turnover
Transcript
Asok: Is it important to have goals? Boss: Yes! You need goals to succeed. Asok: Good, because my goal is to become an Uber driver. I quit. What is your goal? Boss: Reducing employee turnover.
Monday February 08,
2016
Employee Hat With Sensors
Tags mind control, thoughts, police, policing, work ethic, leisure, daydreaming, control, surveillance, legal
Transcript
Boss: The sensors in your employee hat tell me you are not having work-related thoughts. I have to dock your pay for all of that leisure time you try to sneak into your workday. Here's a screen shot of what you've been thinking. Dilbert: I'm going to remember this as a bad day.
Sunday November 15,
2015
Tags management, strategy, productivity, humane, inhumane, treatment, surveillance, watching, privacy, work, office workers
Transcript
Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.
Tuesday November 03,
2015
How It Feels To Be Useless
Tags work, work ethic, engineers, stress, reward, laziness, dedication
Transcript
Wally: How's it feel to be the hardest-working employee in engineering? Alice: I feel tired, sore, exhausted, sick, angry, stressed out, and lonely. Wally: You probably don't want to know how good it feels to be useless.
Thursday October 22,
2015
Stress As A Wellness Issue
Tags loophole, medicine, health, stress, work, medical leave, work ethic, laziness
Transcript
Boss: We have a problem. Our employee wellness site lists stress as a medical problem. And working here causes stress. Catbert: How many of them took paid medical leave? Boss: It's just you now. I'm packed.
Wednesday October 21,
2015
Wally's Stress Problem
Tags stress, health, work, employee, work ethic, laziness, excuse
Transcript
Wally: I need to take an extended medical leave to deal with my job-related stress. The stress is degrading my cardiovascular system. I could drop dead any minute. Boss: Which part of your job is causing stress? Wally: I think it's the work part.
Saturday August 29,
2015
Nanorobots In Wally Slow Down
Tags laziness, work ethic, technology, robot, nanobot, motivation
Transcript
Catbert: The nanobots we injected into your bloodstream to make you a better employee are slowing down. Your blood is demotivating the nanorobots and making them useless. You're killing them! Gaaa!!! It's a massacre in there! Wally: They had it coming.
Friday August 28,
2015
Wally Gets Nano Robot Injection
Tags nanorobot, nanobot, health, motivation, work ethic
Transcript
Catbert: For our employee wellness program we will inject nanorobots into your bloodstream to keep you free of disease. The nanorobots will also rewire your brain to make you a more effective worker. You might even feel motivated. Wally: Those robots are going to be disappointed.
Thursday August 27,
2015
Nano Robots Are The New Health Plan
Tags technology, robots, invention, health, big business, corporation, nanobot
Transcript
CEO: We're replacing the employee health plan with nanorobot technology. We'll insert tiny medical robots into their lower digestive tracts to keep them healthy forever. Boss: So, our plan is to shove robots up... CEO: Only until the robots can replace them.

