Evil Comic Strips - Page 11
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Character
283 Results for Evil
View 101 - 110 results for evil comic strips. Discover the best "Evil" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 31,
2006
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources<Br>"Alice, you've been accused of making dismissive facial expressions." "You have also muttered the following sounds during meetings: piff, bah, ffff, and ssstoop." "Did anyone complain about this expression? I like to use it in these situations." "No, that's still good."
Monday December 19,
2005
Tags evil director, downsizing, human way, marketing ones, giant dung beetle, ball, poor performers
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "The downsizing will be handled in the most humane way I could think of." "I hired a giant dung beetle to roll the poor performers into a ball and out the door." "I can't get the marketing ones to stick. They keep sliding off."
Tuesday December 06,
2005
Tags evil director, human rescources, disgruntled, bad management, commute, rationalizer, employee, commute is easy
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Ed, you seem disgruntled." "You need 30 minutes in the Employee Rationalizer." "I...I...don't mind bad management because...the commute is easy." "Better."
Sunday October 23,
2005
Tags evil director, fly on plane, guidelines, key employees, ceo, presdient, same flight, interns, run with sciccors, plastic bags, over heads
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I have new guidelines on who can fly on the same plane." "We can't risk losing too many key employees." "The CEO and the president are not allowed to be on the same flight." "No more than three vice presidents may be on the same flight." "What are the guidelines for interns?" "Infinite interns are allowed on the same flight. You are also allowed to run with scissors and put plastic bags over your heads." "How many interns are allowed per plastic bag?"
Saturday August 27,
2005
Tags stealth layoff, evil director, human resources, worthless employees, job no longer exists, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I call it a stealth layoff." "We move all of the worthless employees to the same project. When it's done, we tell them that their jobs no longer exist." "I don't like the look of this."
Sunday August 14,
2005
Tags evil wind blowing, dark soul, evil director, human resources, employee survey, over reacted, well being, business
Transcript
"I feel an evil wind blowing my way." "My soul is filling with darkness...Suddenly I am cold, oh, so cold." Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Hello-o-o, Asok." "GAAA!!! What are you doing here?!!" "It's time for the annual Employee Satisfaction Survey." "Perhaps I overreacted. I don't see how this could possibly be bad." "It is evident from these questions that you care about my wellbeing!" "I love the part where they think I'm here to help." Purr Purr Two Weeks Later "They're delighted with their benefits. It looks like we can save some money there."
Wednesday June 22,
2005
Tags underperforming, ;i've volcano, problem solved, underperformed, pumiced, evil, yet amusing
Transcript
"Your CEO was underperforming, so I convinced him to bungee jump into a live volcano. Problem solved." "Well, he underperformed and he got punished." "Pumiced, actually." "Evil, yet amusing."
Monday June 13,
2005
Tags evil director, office efficency, celebrated, done forevre, feel special
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources In order to improve office efficiency, all birthdays will be celebrated on the same day." "Do you mean one clebration per year, or just once and then we're done forever?" "Just once." "Well, at least I'll feel special once. What day is the celebration?" "Yesterday."
Tuesday May 24,
2005
Tags evil director, human resources, help balancing, personal life, no love, sound sunhealthy, pill crybaby, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. "I need help balancing my career with my personal life." "I recommend a book called "No one will ever love you." It'll crush your hope for a personal life and free up more time for work." "That sounds unhealthy." "Take a pill, crybaby."
Friday May 06,
2005
Tags evil director, campiagn, employee happiness, forbidden fruit, no dating emplyees, date each other
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources AS part of my ongoing campaign against employee happiness.." "Employees are not allowed to date each other." "Now you're forbidden fruit...yummmy." "Stay back, rule-breaker."

