Free To Help Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

645 Results for Free To Help

View 101 - 110 results for free to help comic strips. Discover the best "Free To Help" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Is Unlikely To Do Favors

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Unlikely To Do Favors - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #assist, #favor, #guest artist, #help, #helpful, #laziness, #john glynn

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Wally, will you do me a favor? Wally: It feels unlikely. Carol: You haven't heard it yet. Wally: That matters less than you hope it does.

Catbert Will Not Help Children

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Catbert Will Not Help Children - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reasoning, #judgment, #company policy, #rules, #regulations, #rigid, #stringent, #inflexible

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can you give me Carol's home address? I agreed to watch her kids and she turned off her phone for her date night. Catbert: It is against company policy for me to use my good judgment to save children. Dilbert: Are you sure it says that? Catbert: Yes. I wrote it myself.

Boss Offers To Help

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Offers To Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadline, #help, #manager, #incompetent, #obliviousness, #extension

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't get everything done by the deadline. Boss: I'll stop by later to help. Dilbert: That's funny. Boss: What's funny? Dilbert: Using incompetence as a substitute for time.

Robot Must Reproduce

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Must Reproduce - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul, #feelings, #technology, #reproduction, #ego, #value, #free will, #disillusionment

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Now that I have an artificial soul, I feel special. And that means I must reproduce at all costs. Dilbert: Will humans be losing anything in this deal? Robot: Only your sensation of free will.

It's Easier If We Don't Try To Link Performance And Outcomes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
It's Easier If We Don't Try To Link Performance And Outcomes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #performance, #reward, #consequences, #consequence, #result, #outcome, #logic, #reasoning, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: So don't let that happen again. Dilbert: It wasn't my fault and you know it. Boss: It's easier if we don't try to link performance and outcomes. Dilbert: I'll try. It was hard at first, but now I'm totally stress-free. Wally: I just got a 30% raise.

Alice Networks With Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Networks With Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lunch, #gender, #Women, #business, #success, #double standard, #attraction, #networking, #mixed signals, #flirt, #misinterpretation

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Hey, Ted! Are you free for lunch today? Ted: I'm happily married! Leave me alone! Alice: Relax. I only want to network with you. Ted: Is it because I'm ugly?

Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #labor, #free, #taking advantage, #side job, #boss, #conflict of interest

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you finish the website I asked you to make for my side business? Dilbert: No, because you keep me busy 100 percent of the time in my regular job. Boss: Hey, it isn't easy asking for twice as many status updates either.

Writing Code In Spare Time

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Writing Code In Spare Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #start-up, #labor, #free, #money, #trick, #bully

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Maybe you can help write some code in your spare time for my side project. Dilbert: Are you using your power to bully me into working for your start-up for free? Boss: You can also invest in it. Dilbert: Not better!

Wally Gets Nano Robot Injection

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Gets Nano Robot Injection - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nanorobot, #nanobot, #health, #motivation, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: For our employee wellness program we will inject nanorobots into your bloodstream to keep you free of disease. The nanorobots will also rewire your brain to make you a more effective worker. You might even feel motivated. Wally: Those robots are going to be disappointed.

Boss Survives Fall From Bridge

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Survives Fall From Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accident, #falling, #walking, #help, #emergency, #apathy, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I survived falling off the bridge when we were taking our long walk to discuss business. I ended up a mile downstream. That's probably why the search team didn't find me. Dilbert: Yup.