Frightened Idiot Comic Strips - Page 11

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View 101 - 110 results for frightened idiot comic strips. Discover the best "Frightened Idiot" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mark terrotory, #wireless internet option, #change to prototype

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The boss: I must mark my terrtoy by insisting on a change to the prototype. The Boss: "Give it a wireless internet option." Dilbert: "It already had one." The Boss: "What doesn't it have?" Dilbert: "An idiot designing it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stale dna, #ceo, #medical

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The Boss: Our CEO says he wants to change the DNA of this company. Catbert: whats that mean? The Boss: I don't know, It sounds medical. Im frightened. The boos: Hold me. Catbert: Keep your stale DNA away from me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #guest cartoonist, #rob the dinosuar, #bob, #million degrees, #costume, #you idiot, #no pay, #every has cotsume

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Whos todays Guest Cartoonist? Hi rob the dinosaur here! Today I want to.... cut! Your name is Bob! Sir, Its like a million degrees in here, Cant we take a two minute break? No! You'll do it until you get it right. you idiot! you have dissected me. no pay for you! I hate dilbert, SSH! HE'll hear you! Answer: Go to Dilbert.com

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #errors, #flatter yourself, #forward to friends, #idiot boss, #spelling, #mass email

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The Boss types, "Trie to be moor prophesional in your commudicashuns." Dilbert and Wally read the email. Dilbert giggles at his computer, "Hee Hee!" Wally says, "Let's forward it to all our friends so they can see what an idiot we work for." Dilbert says, "But you're my only friend." Wally replies, "Don't flatter yourself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talking clock, #after midnight, #talking alarm

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches from behind and says, "My home phone turns into a talking clock after midnight." Dilbert turns slightly. The Boss continues, "Yeah, I didn't believe it either until Wally taught me how to use it." The Boss is at home. A voice from his phone yells, "It's 3:14 in the morning you #%*!* idiot!" The Boss thinks to himself, "Yup."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #network outages, #network room, #unplugging server, #noisy, #server is waitress?, #lan

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Asok points to a diagram of a LAN configuration and says, "I have discovered the cause of our network outages." Asok continues, "Some idiot is using our network room for meetings and unplugging the server because it's too noisy." The Boss turns to Wally and Dilbert and says, "A server is like a waitress, right?" Wally replies, "Yeah, a noisy one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #can't sleep, #tell story, #pointy haired monster, #cry, #dilbert bedtime story, #tells life story, #rat crys

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Dilbert is sitting on his couch in his bathrobe. His pet rat approaches on the arm rest and says, "I can't sleep. Would you tell me a story." The rat is cuddled under a blanket on the couch. Dilbert begins his story: "Once upon a time there was a pointy-haired monster." He continues, "He promised riches to the villagers if they could achieve his random objectives." The rat begins to get drowsy. Dilbert continues his story: "The villagers worked long hours but they were happy and optimistic." Dilbert continues, "Suddenly the evil monster cut their funding and hired the village idiot to be project manager." Dilbert continues, "And that is how the villagers got trapped in meetings for all eternity. The end." The rat opens its eyes wide in horror. The rat cries, "Waaa!! Waaa!! Waaa!!" Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Rats cry when they hear about my life." Dogbert responds, "It never pays to listen."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #power utility company, #director marketing, #increase revenue, #herbivore

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Dogbert says to a dragon, "Bob, I'm starting a power utility company." Dogbert says to the dragon, "You'll be my Director of Marketing. Your job is to increase revenue." A frightened-looking boy is lying in bed with the covers pulled up to his nose. A lighted lamp is at his bedside. The dragon's tail is sticking out from under the bed and the dragon says, "Normally I'm an herbivore, Billy, but when the lights go off..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reduce staff, #almost worked to death, #ted

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Catbert says to The Boss, "We need to reduce staff by twenty." Catbert shows a list to The Boss and says, "Here's a list of the people you've a-l-m-o-s-t worked to death." The Boss, carrying a piece of paper, says to Ted, "I have another project for you... Uh... Ted." A frightened-looking Ted exclaims, "Aack!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #equity analyst, #rate stock, #banking investment, #wall, #between businesses, #weasels

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Equity Analyst Weasel: I'll rate your stock a "Must buy now" If you give us your investment banking business. The Boss: aren't you supposed yo have a chinese wall between those two businesses? weasel: Am I Too early? Weasel 1: Use the door idiot