Hiring Smart People Comic Strips - Page 11
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1000 Results for Hiring Smart People
View 101 - 110 results for hiring smart people comic strips. Discover the best "Hiring Smart People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 25,
2018
Idiots Don't Know They Are Idiots
Tags #the boss, #alice, #ted talk, #idiots, #dumb, #career, #change, #smart, #possible, #speak
Transcript
The Boss: I watched a Ted talk yesterday about how idiots don't know they are dumb. Alice: For the sake of my career, I hope you change the subject as soon as possible. The Boss: Did you know idiots believe they are smart? Alice: Must... Not... Speak...
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday October 14,
2018
Tags #carol, #Wally, #computer, #problem, #crumbs, #crosstalk, #protocols, #help
Transcript
Carol: Wally, can you help me with a computer problem? Wally: People usually don't ask me for help. Carol: Why is that? Wally: You'll find out. Carol: I can't log in to the server. Wally: I'll need to ask you a few questions. Have you ever eaten food near your computer. Carol: Um... Yes. Wally: That's your problem. Wally: Your crumbs are causing crosstalk on the protocols. Carol: Is this why no one asks you for help? Wally: It's in the top ten.
Thursday September 20,
2018
Hiring Paul The Criminal
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #job, #market, #competitive, #ex-cons, #work, #criminals, #caught, #paul, #data center, #copper, #wire
Transcript
The Boss: The job market is so competitive that we can't even find ex-cons who want to work here. So we're hiring active criminals who haven't yet been caught. The Boss: Say hello to Paul. Paul: I hear our data center has a a lot of copper wire.
Saturday September 15,
2018
Dogbert's Pep Talk
Wednesday September 05,
2018
Candor Monster
Tags #the boss, #carol, #radical candor, #therapy, #criticism, #monster
Transcript
The Boss: My new system of using "radical candor," is working out great. I've been criticizing people all morning and only three of them went into therapy over it. Now I turn my candor to you. Carol: Die, monster!
Tuesday August 28,
2018
Wally's Track Record As Mentor
Saturday August 25,
2018
Dilbert Consults His Bumper Stickers
Tags #ceo, #Dilbert, #government regulations, #marketing, #question authority
Transcript
CEO: Government regulations prevent us from marketing our products the way we want. What should we do? Dilbert: I'll consult my bundle of bumper stickers for some guidance. "Question authority." CEO: How did you get so smart?
Tuesday August 14,
2018
Dilbert Offers To Help
Tags #Dilbert, #help, #project, #sucker, #woman employee
Transcript
Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to help you on your project. Woman Employee: Yes!! My dream of getting paid while other people do my work is becoming a reality! Dilbert: I might have played this wrong. Woman employee: Sucker!
Tuesday August 07,
2018
Wally Enjoys Listening To Himself
Thursday August 02,
2018
Coffee Machine Uses Guilt
Tags #Wally, #alice, #Dilbert, #coffee, #coffee maker, #automatic, #invention, #manipulation
Transcript
Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee maker. Now it uses guilt to manipulate people into making a fresh pot if they take the last cup. Coffee Maker: You disgust me. Wally: I get that a lot.