How Much Slack? Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for How Much Slack?

View 101 - 110 results for how much slack? comic strips. Discover the best "How Much Slack?" comics from Dilbert.com.

Appearing In Photos

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Appearing In Photos - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-workers, #technology, #social media, #friends, #Opinion, #abhor, #person, #characteristics, #jerk

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i can't be your friend because i saw a disturbing photo of you on social media. you were in a group photo with a person whose opinions i abhor. dilbert: can you explain why that makes me a bad person? tina: sure. duh. when you appear in photos with other people, you acquire their bad characteristics. dilbert: i don't think that's how it works. tina: that's exactly how it works! one photo with a jerk makes you a jerk! case closed! dilbert taking selfie with Tina in background: smile. tina upset: no-ooo!!!

Mind Reading

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mind Reading - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #judge, #ruling, #gavel, #proof, #thoughts, #unfair, #mind, #reading

View Transcript

Transcript

court of stupidity judge with gavel: the court rules that dilbert should magically know what his boss wants at all times. dilbert: i'm not a mind-reader! judge: prove it! dilbert: how can i prove i can't read minds? judge: easy. tell me what i'm not thinking.

Clear Email From Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Clear Email From Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #servers, #request, #email, #reply, #project, #update, #fight, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: why didn't you upgrade the servers like i asked? dilbert: you never asked me to do that. boss: yes, i did. i told you in an email. dilbert: no, you did not. boss: i know i saw it because you replied. dilbert: i replied to a different email. boss: okay, let me find the email and show you how wrong you are. see. it clearly says, "give me a project update by thursday." dilbert: which is...an entirely different topic. boss: why are you fighting me on this?

Employer Of The Year

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employer Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advertising, #managers & supervisors, #employer, #year, #million dollars, #attitude, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm proud to announce that we've been named "employer of the year." dilbert: how much did that cost? boss: nothing! all we had to do was buy a million dollars' worth of ads. dilbert: did we need those ads? boss: you won't win any awards with that attitude.

How Long It Will Take

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Long It Will Take  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #assignment, #deadline, #incompetence, #meeting, #co-workers, #months

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: can you have it done in a week? dilbert: not if i have to work with other employees. given the galactic incompetence of my co-workers, it would probably take seven to non months. boss: i'll give you two weeks. dilbert: that's how long it will take to set up the first meeting.

Denying Science

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Denying Science - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #medical, #antidepressants, #product, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert's tech support dogbert: i recommend taking powerful antidepressants. it won't make our product any easier to use, but maybe you won't care as much. of course it will work. sheesh! - deny science much?

Blaming Climate Change

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Blaming Climate Change  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #support, #calls, #product, #flaw, #climate, #change, #Environment

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: how are the tech support calls going? dogbert: great. i'm blaming all of our product flaws on climate change, and people are totally buying it. dilbert: that doesn't make sense. dogbert: you'd be surprised how little that matters.

Dogbert's Tech Support

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Tech Support  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #office worker, #product, #climate, #change, #Environment, #recycle

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's tech support female office worker: i can't figure out how to use your product. dogbert: the problem is climate change. there is nothing you can do. office worker: there must be something i can do. dogbert's voice from phone: do you recycle?

Saying You Are Dumb

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Saying You Are Dumb  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #job, #change, #technology, #dumb, #imply, #product

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert's tech support ted: i can't figure out how to use your product. what should i do? dogbert: i recommend changing jobs to something less challenging. ted: are you saying i'm dumb? dogbert's once from phone: no. no. no. i'm only implying it.

Adding Insult To Injury

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Adding Insult To Injury  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #tech support, #customer, #calls, #interface, #reboot, #idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired the dogbert tech support team to help with customer calls because our user interface is so sadistic. dilbert: wouldn't that be adding insult to injury? boss: how so? dogbert in a office at a desk yelling: try rebooting, you idiot. and don't call again!