Human Resources Dept Comic Strips - Page 11
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418 Results for Human Resources Dept
View 101 - 110 results for human resources dept comic strips. Discover the best "Human Resources Dept" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 17,
2015
Dilbert Invents A Brain Stimulator
Tags work ethic, happiness, work, labor, employee, stimulation, boredom, interest, human resources, psychology, business
Transcript
Dilbert: My brain stimulator will keep me interested in your meetings, no matter how boring they are. Now I can enjoy work and get paid, too. It seems I have beaten the system. Catbert: He's enjoying what? Boss; Work. It's super creepy.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday June 03,
2015
Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert
Tags punishment, cat, throwing, executives, animals
Transcript
CEO: I love having a football-sized evil director of Human Resources. Now I can delegate from a distance. Catbert: I sense disgruntled employees in that direction! Launch! CEO: You'll have to walk after the first ten feet.
Tuesday June 02,
2015
Ceo Tosses Catbert
Tags executive, ceo, delegate, respoinsibilities, punishment
Transcript
CEO: You have been doing dumb things on social media. I am going to toss our evil director of Human Resources in your direction and run away. I love a lot of things about being CEO, but I think I love delegating the most. Boss: Gaaaa!!!
Sunday May 24,
2015
Tags dating, social, social interaction, honesty, politeness, overshare, relationships
Transcript
Woman: So, tell me a little about yourself, and be totally honest. Dilbert: Totally honest? Okay... I like technology more than I like people. I don't believe in free will, soulmates, or following my passion. I think life is a brief, meaningless event in a random universe that doesn't care. I only associate with other people because I have biological and economical needs. I think all human actions are driven by selfishness. Woman: Uh... okay. Do you have any questions for me? Dilbert: Am I still being totally honest or should I act curious?
Thursday May 21,
2015
Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner
Tags replication, technology, clone, playing god, doppelganger
Transcript
Dilbert: My invention can scan the human brain and duplicate it in software. I combined that technology with a 3-D printer that makes human body parts. Boss: What does it all do? Replicant: He's getting to the good part.
Friday April 24,
2015
Root Cause Is People
Tags problems, cause and effect, human error
Transcript
Dilbert: I found the root cause of our problems. It's people. They're buggy. Boss: Did you bring a pen?
Friday April 10,
2015
Alice Has Foul Language
Tags offense, language, joke, jokes, human resources, complaint, business
Transcript
Boss: Tina complained that your foul language is creating a hostile work environment. Alice: That's ridiculous. Words are totally harmless. Tell Tina she can... [Ten Seconds Later. The boss is twitching] Okay, I see it now.
Monday February 16,
2015
Day Of Arranging Zeroes And Ones
Tags anti-social, communication, engineers, happiness, interaction, introvert, social interaction, socializing, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: Yay! I have another full day of doing nothing but rearranging zeros and ones. You know it will be a good day when there is no human interaction on the schedule. Tina: How's your day going? Dilbert: Well, it started good...
Sunday February 01,
2015
Tags deception, dishonest, dishonesty, honest, honesty, lying, reverse psychology, trick, trickery, noteworthy, hide evil, verbal assault, easiest lie, set up
Transcript
Boss: To be perfectly honest... Dilbert: Wait! Why do you need to say you're being honest in this particular case? You're implying that you've lied to me so often in the past that this one instance of honesty is noteworthy. That is tantamount to admitting you have no respect for me as a human being. And you don't even have the decency to hide your evil in a competent fashion! Do you think I'm such an idiot that I wouldn't notice your verbal assault on my intelligence? Okay, let's hear the one honest thing you have ever told me. Go. Boss: This is going to be the easiest lie I've ever told.
Monday January 12,
2015
Dilbert's Tube Clothes Distract
Tags clothing, dress code, fashion, human resources, obliviousness, sex appeal, sexiness, co workers, tube clothes, modifications, distarction, corduroy tube, libido killer, business
Transcript
Catbert: Your co-workers are complaining that your tube clothes distract them from work. Dilbert: I can make some modifications so I'm less sexy. That should cut down on the distraction. Catbert: We might not be on the same page. Dilbert: I could wear a corduroy tube. That's a libido killer.