Idea Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

333 Results for Idea

View 101 - 110 results for idea comic strips. Discover the best "Idea" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new idea, dream, 3d glasses, for real life, people love 3d, not movies, obvious, ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Last night, an idea for a new product came to me in a dream. Dilbert: ICK CEO: 3-D Glasses. Dilbert: To watch movies? CEO: No, real life. Dilbert: So...The glasses would make life in general appear three-dimensional? CEO: Exactly! People Love 3-D Stuff. Dilbert: Im not going to respond to your idea. Im just going to sit here looking three-dimensional. CEO: wait....how are you doing that? Dilbert: Im wearing glasses that make me look 3-D

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, work ethic, growth hacker, web apps, perfect job, growth hackers, do nothing, work from home

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: We need a "growth hacker" for our web apps. I think I'd be perfect for that job. Boss: I've heard of growth hackers, but I have no idea what they do all day. You could do nothing and I wouldn't know the difference. Wally: And I could work from home.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags obstinacy, prove wrong, never work, reflex, worst idea, last day of life, jump off roof

View Transcript

Transcript

Jeff had to prove everyone wrong. That will never work. It was like a reflex. He couldn't stop. That's the worst idea I have ever heard. This was his last day of life. Alice: You can't jump off the roof right now. Jeff: Uh-oh.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criminals, office workers, work ethic, cesspool, horrible office conditions, better choices, career criminal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What's your son doing here? Coworker: Today is 'Bring Your Kid To The Cesspool Day." The idea is to show kids how horrible it is to work in an office. That way, they can make better choices and avoid a life like ours. Dilbert: Just out of curiosity, who told you this is "Bring Your Kid To The Cesspool Day?" Coworker: Wally. Oh. Child: I've decided to become a career criminal. Dilbert: Good luck with all of that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hypocrisy, employees, trusted advisor, dumb plan, boss, employee, saying no, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Experts say I need employees who can say no to me. I'd like you to be my trusted adviser, Wally, because you can criticize every idea I have. Wally: No. That's the dumbest plan I've ever heard. Boss: What? Wally: You heard me. Boss: I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now. Wally: You could thank me for saying no. Boss: Why does that sound right?!!!! Wally: You're welcome.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags inventions, thinking, product ideas, billion dollar ideas, unwilling, corporation, dumb person idea, pretend, drone that attacks, wooden screen phone

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Does anyone have any billion-dollar product ideas? Dilbert: There's a logical problem with that question. If I had a billion-dollar idea, I would quit this job and start my own company. Only a dumb person would give you his best idea for free. And the best idea from a dumb person is still dumb. But I am willing to give you some ideas that are too lame for my own use. Boss: Can you at least pretend to suggest good ideas? Dilbert: Sure. How about a phone with a wooden screen? Wally: How about a drone that attacks anyone who looks at it?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags thinking, ideas, sock at, steal ideas, double workload, employee, boss, professional realtionships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have a great idea? Boss: What kind? Is it the kind I scoff at, the kind I steal, or the kind that makes me double your workload? Dilbert: It might be all of those. Boss: Sounds good so far.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bodily fluids, buggy, ceo reputation, competitors, death, medical, misleading ads, not selling, overriced, owls, pal costume, product failure, product name, super yacht, vaguely racist

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to figure out why our new product isn't selling well. Dilbert: It's buggy and overpriced. Wally: OUr competitors sell a far better product at half the price. Asok: Our ads are overtly misleading and vaguely racist. Alice: Our product name reminds people of bodily fluids and death. People hate us because our CEO has an endangered owl shooting range on his super yacht. Boss: Does anyone have an idea to fix all of that? Wally: Maybe. Do you own an owl costume?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joking, mobile (cell) phones, hearing aid, quick text, all caps

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'll just send a quick text to Paul. Wally: Paul has a hearing aid, so type in all caps. Boss: Good idea. Dilbert: That's messed up. Wally: A little.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, organized as holacracy, dynamic governance, transparent operations, harnessing, conscious capacity, wander around, dynamically, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Now that we're organized as a holacracy, I have no idea what I should be doing. Catbert: Holacracy involves dynamic governance, transparent operations, and harnessing your conscious capacity. Boss: That sounds like "wander around." Catbert: Try to do it dynamically.