Long Nose Comic Strips - Page 11
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434 Results for Long Nose
View 101 - 110 results for long nose comic strips. Discover the best "Long Nose" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday June 06,
2014
Tags apathy, managers & supervisors, buried alive, burlap bag, starving rats, fix everything, business
Transcript
Boss: So... how's your job going? Dilbert: It's like being buried alive in a burlap bag full of starving rats. Boss: And I'm back to not caring. Dilbert: How long will it take you to fix everything?
Monday April 21,
2014
Tags big business, money, obliviousness, travel budget, business travel, long term profitability, budget frozen
Transcript
Boss: The travel budget is frozen so we can meet our income estimates for this quarter. Dilbert: Is that because all business travel is a waste of time or because we no longer care about long-term profitability? Take as long as you need. Boss: Um...
Monday February 03,
2014
Tags baked products, coaches & coaching, stress, will power is finite, cake for lunch, coaching session, long hours
Transcript
Boss: Studies say willpower is finite. If you use it for one thing, you have less for another. So if it feels hard to work long hours, without any reward, try eating cake for lunch. Wally: How'd your coaching session go? Dilbert: For once, it wasn't all bad.
Wednesday January 15,
2014
Tags competition (psychology), inventions, space flight, elon musk, space hsips, electric cars, electric rocket, robots, colonize, planet, power cord
Transcript
CEO: I want to be more visionary than Elon Musk. All he does is build spaceships and electric cars. I want you to build me an electric rocket ship full of robots that can colonize other worlds. Which planet should we do first? Dilbert: Depends how long the power cord is.
Saturday November 30,
2013
Tags complaining, cruelty, thinking, thought diversity, meeting, fad, business
Transcript
Boss: I'm looking for thought diversity in my hiring. That's a thing now. Alice: Really? That's a dumb thing. All you end up with is a bunch of people who can't agree. How do you like thought diversity now? Dilbert: That fad didn't last long.
Saturday October 19,
2013
Tags complaining, conversation, dumb people, ignorance (knowledge), project taking long
Transcript
Boss: Why is your project taking longer than expected? Dilbert: It's only taking longer than dumb people expected. Boss: Still, that's a lot of people. Dilbert: What can I say to make this conversation end?
Friday September 20,
2013
Tags ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, work ethic, project, unstable applcation, data model, overly complex relational databse, lazy, business
Transcript
Boss: What's taking you so long on the project? Dilbert: The application is unstable because the data model is driven by an overly complex relational database and there was no integration testing. Boss: Does any of that mean the same thing as "lazy?"
Sunday September 01,
2013
Tags conversation, embarrassment, ignored, avoidance, avoid conversation, co worker, six months
Transcript
Dilbert: Uh-oh. It's that guy. Coworker: You never returned any of my messages. Dilbert: I was busy. Coworker: For six months? Dilbert: Well, no... only for a week. But it would have been awkward to respond after ignoring you for so long. Coworker: So your plan was to avoid me forever even though we work on the same floor? Dilbert: No. I've seen the quality of your work and I figured there was a 60% chance that you would die in a workplace accident that the average idiot could easily avoid. For the record, I'm the one who was trying to avoid this conversation.
Friday August 30,
2013
Tags complaining, depression (mental state), inventions, self worth, doubt, microwave, machine language, kill me, beep
Transcript
Robot: You keep giving me trivial assignments that make me doubt my self-worth. Boss: Chill out. You don't hear the microwave whining all day long. Robot: He doesn't know that the machine word for "Please kill me is 'Beep.'" Microwave: Beep.
Monday August 12,
2013
Tags competition (psychology), laziness, passive job seeker, rope, sleeping, tied up, coffee cup, chair, bound
Transcript
Recruiters Recruiter 1: Hey, is that a passive job seeker? Wally: ZZZZZZ. Recruiter 2: Back off! I saw him first. This rope hols my place until he wakes up. Wally: ZZZZZZ. I will pay you a thousand dollars to drop a long straw in this cup.


