Lying Down Comic Strips - Page 11
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701 Results for Lying Down
View 101 - 110 results for lying down comic strips. Discover the best "Lying Down" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday December 16,
2015
Nod At Preset Intervals
Tags lying, lie, collusion, nonverbal communication, honest, sales, sales personnel, ethics, business
Transcript
Boss: You don't have to lie to customers, but at least nod your head when our salesperson lies. Dilbert: Can I not at preset intervals and let the salesperson time the lies to my nods? Salesman: I can work with that.
Tuesday December 15,
2015
I Would Never Ask You To Lie
Tags sales personnel, lying, sales, ethics, business
Transcript
Boss: Stop being honest when you go on sales calls. Dilbert: You want me to lie? Boss: I would never ask you to lie. I'm asking you to nod your head and smile while our salesperson lies.
Thursday November 12,
2015
Boss's Charisma Inspires Wally
Tags technology, text, texting, distraction, shout, diversion, charm, excitement, cheer
Transcript
Boss: (types on his phone). Wally: Go team! Can you turn down your charisma? I can barely sit still over here.
Tuesday October 27,
2015
People Get Dumber When Sitting Down
Tags intelligence, dumb, belief, furniture, new age, science, metaphysics
Transcript
Dilbert: Is it my imagination or do people get dumber when they sit down for a meeting? Or would you say you are equally dumb no matter what you are doing? Boss: Well, I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure feng shui is part of the answer.
Sunday October 11,
2015
Tags manager, work, results, observation, thinking, strategy, proof, evidence
Transcript
Wally: I did a huge amount of work this week. I created a matrix that compares all of our technology options. Boss: Can I see this alleged matrix? Wally: It's in my head. I didn't see a need to write it down. Boss: How would I know if you did it right? Wally: You're not an engineer, so you wouldn't know it was right even if you saw it. You tell me to "work smarter" but you get angry when I do. Boss: You're not allowed to do your work in your head! Wally: Which body part do you use?
Thursday September 24,
2015
Ceo Compensation
Tags money, worth, salary, wages, fairness, fair, pay, expenses, saving, rich people, executives
Transcript
Dilbert: I just saw your net worth on the Internet. What's this meeting about anyway? CEO: It's about keeping expenses down. Dilbert: More for you? CEO: That's not the spin I was going to put on it.
Saturday August 29,
2015
Nanorobots In Wally Slow Down
Tags laziness, work ethic, technology, robot, nanobot, motivation
Transcript
Catbert: The nanobots we injected into your bloodstream to make you a better employee are slowing down. Your blood is demotivating the nanorobots and making them useless. You're killing them! Gaaa!!! It's a massacre in there! Wally: They had it coming.
Monday July 06,
2015
Drones Attack Dilbert
Tags engineer, engineers, drone, drones, government contract, contractor, retaliation, engineering
Transcript
G-Man 1: Oh-oh. The fugitive hacker Dilbert rolled down a hill and found a cell signal. G-Man 2: Relax. What can one engineer with a phone do against a superpower with armed drones? G-Man 1: Who do you think makes our drones???!!!
Sunday June 28,
2015
Tags meditate, meditation, mindful, mindfulness, mbct, stress, trick, laziness, deception, work ethic, ruse, nap, napping
Transcript
Wally: Do you mind if I take Steve Jobs' advice and practice meditation and mindfulness? Science says meditation can reduce stress and make me more productive. And obviously it worked for Steve Jobs, so there's that. To the untrained eye, it will seem as if I am napping. But in reality, I will be quieting my mind to boost creativity. Boss: Meditate on your own time. Wally: Wow. That just stressed me out and shut down my creative juices. Boss: Just do your job! Wally: Because quality doesn't matter?
Monday May 18,
2015
More Than Garfield
Tags mondays, Garfield, sarcasm, teasing, conversation, antisocial, alienation
Transcript
Alice: I hate Mondays more than Garfield. Wally: Why do you hate Garfield at all? Is it his total disregard for lasagna ownership? Alice: Don't speak to me again until Tuesday. Wally: One day down, four to go.


