More Empowered Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

967 Results for More Empowered

View 101 - 110 results for more empowered comic strips. Discover the best "More Empowered" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Won't Teach Persuasion To Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Won't Teach Persuasion To Dilbert  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiating, #persuasion, #help, #altruism, #selfishness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can you teach me to be more persuasive? Dogbert: What's in it for me? Dilbert: It will make you feel good to help a friend. Dogbert: Does it feel as good as denying you? Dilbert: I have no way to know. Dogbert: Bah!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #character, #judging, #prediction, #reading, #con

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm a good judge of people. Dilbert: Really? What am I thinking right now? Boss: Hmmm... You're wondering how you could be more like me. You admire my leadership, and you write about me in glowing terms in your diary. Dilbert: What diary? Boss: Shhh! I'm still reading you. You have no patience and you don't like to be judged. Dilbert: Okay, that's enough. Boss: Nailed it!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #micromanaging, #managers, #productivity, #google

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I have a meeting in a few minutes, so I only have time to do some micromanaging. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be better do do regular managing? Boss: I don't have time for the regular kind. Dilbert: Then wouldn't it be better to do no managing at all? Boss: Some is better than none. Dilbert: Except when less is more. Boss: This got too complicated. How about I just stand behind you and suggest you Google stuff? Dilbert: Fine. I wish I had some data for this. Boss: Try Googling it.rnet,

False Rumor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
False Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #backhanded compliment, #liar, #idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Everyone at work thinks I'ma liar because of a false rumor. Dogbert: If it makes you feel any better, I know you aren't a liar. Dilbert: Thank you. That does help. Dogbert: I see you as more of an idiot. And you're welcome.

Dilbert Did Not Move The Server Rack

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Did Not Move The Server Rack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rumors, #accusation, #lying, #obstinacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why did you move the server rack? Dilbert: I didn't. Boss: You must be lying because I heard you did. Dilbert: Isn't it more likely you're wrong? Boss: Considering all the options, I like the one where I'm right about everything and you're a stinkin' liar.

Helping The Boss Be Successful

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Helping The Boss Be Successful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #helpfulness, #niceness, #kindness

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: How can I help you achieve your goals and be more successful? Boss: You could stop talking all creepy and weird. Asok: I thought I was being helpful. Boss: Go hate your job like everyone else.

Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rich people, #money, #stock market, #investments, #out of touch, #obliviousness, #stratification

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Hey, our stock is up two percent. I just made more money than you'll earn in your entire life. Remind me, do I leave you a tip?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #certification, #listening, #corporations, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Catbert: Don't bother me. I'm studying for a human resources certification. I already have my certifications for sadism and maniacal laughing. And, obviously, I have the basic HR certification for recreational downsizing. If you don't have that one, you can't even get a job in HR. But I need one more certification to make the big bucks. Now run along while I practice my joyless scowling. Dilbert: You talk a lot about yourself. Catbert: I prefer to think of myself as a non-listener.

Wally Waits For Information

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Waits For Information - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #procrastination, #laziness, #work ethic, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Should I start working on my project now or wait until I have more information. Boss: When you put it that way, I guess you should wait. Dilbert: Isn't there always "more" information to be had? Wally: Don't ruin this for me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time machine, #time travel, #experiment, #algorithm, #planning, #mistake, #error, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss; Ted, we need a volunteer to test the time machine prototype. Ted: Is it safe? Boss: Of course it is. Would I ask you to risk your life if it were not safe? Ted: Yes. Boss: Oh, I didn't realize you knew that. But don't worry. The engineering consensus is that it will work. Dilbert: You will return to this exact spot in one day. Alice: Does our location algorithm account for planetary movement? Ted: I should have asked more questions.