Move Arms Comic Strips - Page 11
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Dilbert says to a coworker, "...And I need it this afternoon." The coworker replies, "Forget it! I'm a short-timer." The coworker continues, "I plan to sit in this chair and not move my arms or legs for a week. After that, I'll never work another day!" The coworker concludes, "I hesitate to ask this, but I have an itch in an awkward place."
Dilbert points to a slide and says, "And then I would end the presentation with this." The Boss is sitting next to two other pointy-haired people. He says, "Whoa! I don't like the look of that background color." The Boss continues, "Red says danger. We don't want to scare our customers." Dilbert responds, "Um.. okay. How about yellow?" The second pointy-haired person says, "Yellow? Are we saying we're cowards?" The third pointy-haired person says, "What we need is a committee to set some standards for background colors." Dilbert responds, "What we need is a meteor to pulverize you three pointy- haired, micro-managing nitwits." After the meeting, Wally asks Dilbert, "If you didn't move your mouth, how did it get out?" Dilbert responds, "It came out of my ear hole."
The temp is standing with one leg up in the air. He says to Dilbert, "I'm a temp with a fear of commitment. I keep one foot out the door." Dilbert hands the temp a piece of paper and says, "Whatever. Just take care of this for me. It'll take ten minutes." The temp zips away faster than his clothes can move.
Dilbert's mom is cooking dinner. Dilbert says to her, "Mom, you have to drop your lawsuit against my company. They fight dirty." Dilbert's mom swings around and exclaims, "Bring 'em on! I've been watching my 'Tae Bo' videos! I'll dispatch their goons to hell!" Dilbert says, "They sent me. I'm their goon." Dilbert's mom waves her arms in the air and says, "After dinner, I'm going Billy Bonkers on your butt!"
The Boss is standing naked, in a barrel. He says to Carol, "To remind us all of our need to reduce expenses, the new dress code is barrels." The Boss continues, "Except for Friday, which will be casual barrel day." Wally, The Boss, and Dilbert are sitting with their arms up and barrels hiding their heads. Dilbert says, "Has anyone else noticed that the barrel rides up with you sit?"
Dilbert has his wrists stuck together and Wally is bound in duct tape. Dilbert says, "I like our new CEO. He has charisma." Wally replies, "The man sure knows how to rob. He's a miracle worker with duct tape." Wally continues, "He even gave me back my emptied wallet." Dilbert says, "Classy move."
The Boss addresses a meeting, "Starting today, our goals will be replaced by stretch goals." Asok asks, "Stretch goals?" Alice says, "Stretch goals are like stretch pants. It's a way of signaling surrender." Asok puts up both arms in surrender. Alice says, "Speaking of which, I wouldn't say no to a doughnut."
Wally addresses a meeting, "Now for the highlight of the staff meeting: The Wally Report." Wally continues, "Yesterday I was getting my hair styled as usual." Wally continues, "But this time I forgot to remove my glasses, and what I saw was disturbing." Wally continues, "The stylist was using a nose-hair trimmer to cut my hair!" Wally continues, "I protested. But she said she's been doing my hair that way for years." Wally continues, "She said it just, 'seemed right.'" Wally raises his arms and exclaims, "Tempers flared. I threw some hair gel. A salon brawl broke out!" The Boss asks, "Don't we use the same stylist?" Wally replies, "That would explain why she has a plunger."
Headline: Procurement. Dilbert says to a monkey, "I need to order a special cable for my computer." The monkey holds up a rope and says, "Ooh hoo hoo hoo!" Dilbert responds, "No. That's a piece of rope. Yes, I know it's cheaper." Dilbert continues, "Well, maybe it was a mistake to sign an exclusive contract with a rope distributor." The monkey crosses its arms and replies, "Ooh hoo hoo jerk."
Wally is in his cubicle. Asok approaches and exclaims, "This is an outrage!" Wally asks, "What?" Asok raises his arms and yells, "The so-called 'Working Lunch' tomorrow!" Asok continues, "They're stealing the only free time I have during the day!" Asok continues, "They give us some lousy sandwiches and expect us to work during lunch! Bah!" Asok exclaims, "IS NOTHING SACRED?!!" Asok asks Wally, "Why doesn't this bother you?" Wally responds, "I plan to eat their sandwiches and go to lunch after the meeting." Asok halts and says, "I... I can actually feel the wind beneath my wings!" Wally responds, "Sorry."