Negative Number Comic Strips - Page 11

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149 Results for Negative Number

View 101 - 110 results for negative number comic strips. Discover the best "Negative Number" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 1997's comic on:


Tags #chair the fun commitee, #improve morale, #internet, #personal reasons, #technology

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The Boss stands behind Wally's desk and says, "Wally, two things . . ." The Boss says, "Number one, I want you to chair the 'fun committee' to improve employee morale." The Boss says, "Two, according to this report, you've been using the Internet for personal reasons."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 1997's comic on:


Tags #critical, #dept phone list, #list alphabetically, #sort phone number

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Dilbert stands at the secretary's desk and says, "Carol, I don't mean to be critical about the department phone list you put together . . ." Dilbert continues, "But it's traditional to list people alphabetically, not sorted by phone number." Dilbert asks, "Because what possible use . . .?" Carol's telephone rings. She looks at the display and says, "Incoming call from . . . Let's see . . . It's Wally . . . I can ignore it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 1997's comic on:


Tags #spelled wrong, #technical recommendation, #boss doubts dilbert, #obver shoulder, #computer, #technology

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The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I studied your technical recommendation and decided it's impossible." Dilbert replies, "I already did it." The Boss says, "It will never work." Dilbert replies, "It's working perfectly." The Boss points to the document and says, "You spelled this word wrong." Dilbert says, "That's a number."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 1997's comic on:


Tags #work, #anti work, #unit of work, #generated unnecessary work

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The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Wally says, "This week I did equal amounts of work and anti-work." Wally continues, "For every unit of work I did, I generated an equal amount of unnecessary work for co-workers. I figure I broke even." The Boss says, "Wally, come see me after the staff meeting." Wally replies, "Oh, great. You're driving me into negative territory."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 1996's comic on:


Tags #metric, #project, #growth rate, #time zone, #favorable, #working smater, #not harder, #new paradignm

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Wally, Dilbert and the Boss sit at a conference table. Wally points to a diagram and says, "This metric shows an excellent trend in the number of days since the beginning of my project." Wally continues, "That growth rate compares favorably with the best companies in our time zone." As they walk away, Wally tells Dilbert, "I'm working smarter, not harder." Dilbert says, "It's a whole new paradigm."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 1996's comic on:


Tags #liz, #dating other men, #internet, #find hot babe, #credit card number, #inquisitive, #technology

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Dilbert sits at his desk and Dogbert sits next to him. Dilbert says, "Liz starting dating other men. Two can play at that game." Dilbert continues, "I will use the power of the Internet to find a hot babe. Ah! Here's one." Dogbert says, "She wants your credit card number." Dilbert says, "Ooh! She's inquisitive. I like that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 1996's comic on:


Tags #network administartor, #my card, #email, #wag tail, #pager numeber, #tilde

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Dogbert stands on the chair armrest and tells Dilbert, "I got hired as the network administrator for your company." Dogbert says, "Here's my card. You can only reach me by e-mail or by pager." Dogbert continues, "When the network breaks, no e-mail. I'll just sit around and wag my tail." Dilbert looks at the business card and says, "Your pager number has a tilde . . . How do I dial a tilde?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 1996's comic on:


Tags #network administartor, #Dogbert, #good opportunity, #annoy idiots, #start tomorrow, #pager number

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Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "Why do you want a job as our network administrator, Mister Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "I don't like people. This is a good opportunity to annoy idiots such as yourself for my own entertainment." The Boss says, "Wow. You're perfect. Can you start tomorrow?" Dogbert replies, "Sure, as far as you know. I'll give you my pager number."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 1996's comic on:


Tags #love, #strongest force, #stupidity, #cousin ignorance, #morning breath, #selfhiness, #lust, #fear, #money, #luck, #relationships

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Dilbert stands by the door putting his coat on. He asks, "Dogbert, do you think love is the strongest force in the universe?" Dogbert replies as they walk down the front steps, "No, I'd have to go with stupidity." They walk outdoors. Dogbert continues, "Followed closely by it's cousin ignorance." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto a fence. Dogbert continues, "Morning breath is number three. Thanks for reminding me." Dogbert continues, "Then you've got selfishness, lust, fear, money and luck." Dilbert asks, "But love is in the top ten, right?" Dogbert replies, "It's fourteenth, right after foolish optimism." Dilbert says, "Someone needs his little round back scratched." Dogbert says, "Do not." Dilbert scratches Dogbert's back and asks, "Where's love now?" Dogbert says, "It'd down and to the left . . . LEFT!! LEFT!! LEFT!! Oowahh . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1996's comic on:


Tags #angels dance in head, #fault, #huge number, #jeopardizing, #prototype, #quality assurance, #schedule, #tree falls forest

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The Boss says to Ratbert, "In the short time you've worked in quality assurance, you've found a huge number of flaws in our prototype." Ratbert replies, "That's my job!" The Boss continues, "You're jeopardizing our schedule. The entire project will fail and it's all YOUR fault." Ratbert asks, "Why is it MY fault?" The Boss replies, "If a tree falls in the forest . . . And we've already sold the tree . . . Does it have quality?" Ratbert asks, "How many angels can dance on your head?"