New Product Comic Strips - Page 11
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1000 Results for New Product
View 101 - 110 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday March 14,
2019
Hiring Unethical Scientist
Tags suspicious, boss, lawyer, help, search, straightforward, scientist, bidding, money
Transcript
Boss: We're looking for a scientist who can be easily influenced by money to back our product claims. Lawyer: I'm perfect for that job. I have no ethnical boundaries whatsoever. Boss: But you won't try to con us, right? Lawyer: You can't have it both ways.
Monday March 11,
2019
Marketing Lies
Tags Dilbert, boss, headphones, competition, meeting, marketing, lies
Transcript
Dilbert: Our new headphones product is better than the competition in every way. Boss: Excellent. I'll get marketing involved to tell a bunch of lies about all of that. Dilbert: Why would they need to lie? Boss: They're kind of set in their ways.
Friday March 01,
2019
Being Like A Man
Tags advertising, business, criticism, men and women, relations between the sexes, sales
Transcript
Boss: Our new advertising campaign is "Don't be like men." The ad starts with a montage of bad male behavior, from mansplaining to genocide. Then we show our product. Alice: Did a woman come up with this campaign? Boss: Stop being like a man.
Wednesday February 27,
2019
Loss Of Libido
Friday February 22,
2019
Darkest Before The Dawn
Tags business, engineering, managers & supervisors, office, office workers
Transcript
Alice: Our product pipeline looks dismal. Boss: It's always darkest before the dawn. Alice: You're comparing product development to the solar system. I don't know what to do with that. Boss: What would Jesus do?
Sunday February 10,
2019
Tags avoidance, irritation, lunch, office workers, relationships, coworkers
Transcript
Tina: You should meet the new guy in marketing. You two would get along great. I'll set up a lunch. Dilbert: Why? Tina: Because he reminds me of you. Dilbert:That isn't a reason. Tina: Okay, he is free tomorrow for lunch. I'll tell him to meet you in the lobby. Dilbert: I still don't see why the three of us need to go to lunch. Tina: It's just the two of you. I'm busy tomorrow. Man: I hear you're a lot like me. Dilbert: Sadly, yes.
Monday February 04,
2019
Robot Has A Cyborg
Tags insults, Kids, office workers, robot, technology, smartphone
Transcript
Alice: Today I saw a kid on a hoverboard using a smartphone with headphones. It was like a creepy new species that is half-human and half-robot. Robot: That's my son. He's a cyborg. Alice: I'll report myself to human resources.
Sunday February 03,
2019
Tags business, business ethics, construction, inventions, nature, technology, trees
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented a cost-effective product to harvest CO2 from the air and turn it into construction material. Asok: So...you invented a tree? Dilbert: What? Asok: Trees take CO2 from the air and turn it into wood. Your invention will compete with plants and trees for necessary CO2. It seems you have doomed all life on Earth. Dilbert: Not if people act rationally and stop removing the CO2 when...wait... You're right. I doomed the planet. Boss: I'll be dead by then, so ship it.
Wednesday January 30,
2019
Best Product
Tags criticism, jokes, meetings, office, office workers, sarcasm, presentation
Transcript
Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.
Tuesday January 29,
2019
New Forms
Tags business, money, office, office workers, efficiency
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you approve my budget request? Boss: No, you used the old form. Dilbert: Do we have new forms? Boss: In hindsight, we should have funded the creation of new budget request forms before we made the old ones obsolete.


