Other Passengers Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

627 Results for Other Passengers

View 101 - 110 results for other passengers comic strips. Discover the best "Other Passengers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surveillance, #outsourced micromanaging, #amazons mechanical turk, #other countries, #computer cameras, #criticize, #resisting change

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I outsourced my micromanaging to Amazon's mechanical Turk. People in other countries will watch you on your computer cameras and criticize every move you make. Dilbert: That feels like a terrible idea. Turk: Stop resisting change.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #problem, #we don't know, #what we don't know, #common saying, #stole it, #dumbest converstion

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The problem is that we don't know what we don't know. Coworker: You stole that saying from me. Dilbert: It's a common saying. I've been using it for years. Coworker: No, you stole it from me. Dilbert: This is officially the dumbest conversation I've ever had. Coworker: That's my other saying!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gut in charge, #gut instinct, #ignoring certain people, #key to success, #morse code, #never right, #thinking, #wants a sandwhich

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The key to success is ignoring the people who say it can't be done. Dilbert: What if they're all right? Boss: They aren't right! Dilbert: Really? Other people are never right? Boss: You have to trust your gut! Dilbert: My gut is telling me that everything your're saying is ridiculous. It also says it wants a sandwich right now. I'd stay, but I'm putting my gut in charge of my decisions. Wally: My gut sends me messages in Morse code. Here comes one now.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stress, #experiment, #flattened organization, #best play, #beat each other, #coffee, #mugs, #smooth transition, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our experiment with flattened organization failed. I'm your boss again. Dilbert: I think our best pay here is to beat each other to death with our coffee mugs. Boss: No one said the transition would be smooth. Dilbert: Make the first one count.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #thinking, #objection to plan, #potential problems, #works fine, #system used, #non zero chance, #get rid of hospitals, #idiot, #normal life

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Does anyone have an objection to this plan? Coworker: In my opinion, there are too many potential problems. Dilbert: This system has been used for years in other places and works fine. Coworker: There is still a non-zero chance of problems. Dilbert: By that logic, we should get rid of hospitals because sometimes they make mistakes. Coworker: Gaaa!!! I just realized I'm an idiot! Dilbert: You can still lead a normal life. Wally: It only stings for a minute.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #incompetetnt, #laziness, #passive agressive, #threatened me more, #work ethic, #realtionships, #defensive, #admits to incompetetnt

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I can't tell if you're passive-aggressive or just incompetent. Wally: Which one sends a message that I could do good work if you threatened me more? Coworker: Passive-aggressive. Wally: Okay. I'm the other one.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #inventions, #space flight, #elon musk, #space hsips, #electric cars, #electric rocket, #robots, #colonize, #planet, #power cord

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I want to be more visionary than Elon Musk. All he does is build spaceships and electric cars. I want you to build me an electric rocket ship full of robots that can colonize other worlds. Which planet should we do first? Dilbert: Depends how long the power cord is.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #mental health, #vision not money, #mental problems, #low self esteem, #performance review, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need employees that are motivated by our vision, not by money. Catbert: Are we looking for any other mental problems, or just that one? Boss: I"m also a big fan of low self-esteem. It comes in handy at performance review time.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bossify, #deception, #fund ideas, #genius, #ideas, #customer support, #software, #budget approval, #delay projects, #low priority, #wise, #funding, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You had a great idea bout upgrading our customer support software. Boss: I don't remember having that idea. Dilbert: It was genius. Boss: Well, that does sound like something I would suggest. Dilbert: We'll need budget approval, but that should be no problem for you. Boss: Duh. Obviously I'll fund my idea. It's genius. Dilbert: I'll need to delay my other project, but, as you said, those are lower priorities. Boss: I said that? Dilbert: It was very wise of you. Alice: How did you get funding for your idea? Dilbert: I had to bossify it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #telephones, #public address button, #calls, #talking to doctor, #talking dirty, #practice

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: You keep pressing the public address button on your phone when you make calls. We can't tell if you're talking to your doctor or you're really, really bad at talking dirty to your wife. Boss: I use one to practice the other.