Plan To Update Comic Strips - Page 11

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View 101 - 110 results for plan to update comic strips. Discover the best "Plan To Update" comics from Dilbert.com.

The Government Is Listening

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The Government Is Listening - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surveillance, #fbi, #privacy, #technology, #bug, #spying, #cell phone, #iphone, #apple

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Boss: The government asked me for an update on your project. Dilbert: I'll talk into your phone. They listen to you all day long. Boss: This is unsettling. Dilbert: Everything is on schedule!

Duplicating Effort

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Duplicating Effort - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #productivity, #absent mindedness, #forgetful, #duplicate

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Boss: Great update, Ted. Now let's hear what Dilbert did this week. Dilbert: I unnecessarily duplicated Ted's work because you forgot you asked bot of us to do the same task. Boss: And how about Alice? Alice: You're three for three.

When Does The Motivation Start

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When Does The Motivation Start - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #effective, #effectiveness, #executives, #motivation, #eric scott

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Dilbert: In the meeting, you said you are the best at motivating. I was wondering when you plan to start, because I could use some motivation. CEO: I've been doing it for five years. Dilbert: At work?

Business Plan History

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Business Plan History - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business plan, #futile, #futility, #goal, #guest artist, #logic, #plan, #john glynn

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Boss: Before we make our business plan for the coming year, let's see how well we stayed on plan last year. We ended up doing nothing that was in our plan, just like every year. Dilbert: Why do't' we skip it this year? Boss: It would be irrational to have no plan.

Yoga For Posture

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Yoga For Posture - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #yoga, #posture, #dating, #attraction, #Women, #relationships

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Dilbert: I don't know what to do about my bad posture. Dogbert: Try yoga. Dilbert: Ooh, good idea. That will also improve my odds of meeting an attractive yoga-loving woman. Man: That was my plan too, but the full-stack guys gut here early and scared away the yoga women.

Retirement Plan

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Retirement Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #retirement, #future, #planning, #plan, #death, #aging, #work, #savings, #dying, #medical

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Dilbert: I saw an article that says most people don't have any kind of retirement plan. Wally: I plan to live an unhealthy lifestyle and pass away in my cubicle, preferably on a Monday. Dilbert: That's a terrible plan. Wally: Better than average, according to you.

The Smart Plans

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The Smart Plans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #honesty, #candor, #label, #semantics, #politeness

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Dilbert: I compared your plan to a few alternatives. Boss: Let's not label the other plans "the smart ones." Dilbert: Do you want anything else mislabeled?

Give Up On Making Them Happy

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Give Up On Making Them Happy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happiness, #deception, #perspective, #work, #office, #marriage, #psychology, #relationships

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Boss: I'm giving up on trying to keep them happy. My new plan is to tell them things are worse everywhere else. Catbert: Will that work? Boss: It worked on my wife.

Employees Keep Agreeing

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Employees Keep Agreeing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #furniture, #office, #arrangement, #laziness, #loophole, #efficiency, #management, #work ethic, #excuse

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Boss: I told the employees about our plan to boost productivity by changing the floor layout. Now they claim they can't get their work done because the current floor plan is inefficient. Hoe do I get them to stop agreeing with me? CEO: What do you usually do?

New Office Layout Will Improve Efficiency

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New Office Layout Will Improve Efficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #layout, #office, #desk, #work environment, #efficiency, #catch-22, #loophole, #laziness, #excuse

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Wally: Do you really believe that your plan to change the office layout will boost efficiency? Boss: Of course it will. The physical environment makes a huge difference. Wally: Good. I missed all of my deadlines because of our current office layout is bad.