Read Book Online Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

399 Results for Read Book Online

View 101 - 110 results for read book online comic strips. Discover the best "Read Book Online" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #cost & standard of living, #green goals, #recycling bins, #company documents, #corporate secuirty, #blue recycling bins, #same policies

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: To reach our green goals, employees must always use the blue recycling bins for company documents. To satisfy our corporate security guidelines, never put company documents in the blue recycling bins. Dilbert: You read those same policies to us last week. Boss: I don't know how to get rid of them.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #gadgets, #smartphone interface rage, #perfect storm, #bad interface design, #chubby fingers, #poor signal strenth, #smashing phone, #frustrated, #can't survive, #lesser of two eveils

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Whoa! Watch out. I've read about this. It's called smartphone interface rage. It's caused by the perfect storm of bad interface design, chubby fingers, and poor signal strength. He'll get so frustrated that he'll consider smashing his phone. Then he'll realize he can't survive without his phone and he'll be twice as frustrated. We have to do something. Wally: Run as fast as you can into the wall! It will take your mind off of your phone! Sometimes the best you can hope for is that the lesser of two evils is the funny one.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviews, #suspicion, #job interview, #brand online, #blog, #tweets, #facebook, #credit, #criminal record, #transcripts, #refrences, #external stuff, #attitude, #yrine test, #dna test, #tanning bed, #mri, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Job interview Boss: I researched your personal brand online. Man: My what? Boss: I looked at your blog, your Tweets, an your Facebook page. I Googled your name and followed every link. I checked your credit, criminal record, school transcripts, and references. But that's just the external stuff. Man: Exactly. It's my attitude that counts! Boss: No. I mean I also have the results of your urine test. Oh, and apparently some of your sample landed in a DNA test kit. And that tanning bed you used last week was actually an MRI. How's your attitude now? Man: Harder to fake.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boredom, #despair, #subject matter expert, #judging book

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Everyone, this is Wally. He's our subject matter expert. Voices: Groan. Uh-oh. Sheesh. Oh well. Ugh. Wally: People are better than you'd think at judging a book by its cover.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #prices, #aggressive jerks, #underpaid nerdling, #give her a raise, #nice employees

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I read that aggressive jerks get paid more than nice employees. Alice: Step aside, underpaid nerdling! Boss: Remind me to give her a raise, and I don't know why.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #correspondence, #electronic mail, #genius, #unfinished product, #writing, #hallmark of genius, #unexpected use of time

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I tried to read it but the signal-to-noise ratio was too low. Boss: So it's sort of a technical problem? Dilbert: Okay.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #electronic mail, #answer email, #signal to noise, #technical problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I tried to read it but the signal-to-noise ratio was too low. Boss: So it's sort of a technical problem? Dilbert: Okay.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #keep brain out, #laziness, #long and complicated, #technical recommendation, #thinking, #make decision

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you read my technical recommendation? Boss: No. It's too long and complicated. Dilbert: How do you plan to make a decision without reading it? Boss: I'll use my gut. Dilbert: It's probably a good idea to keep your brain out of this. Boss: Quiet! It's saying something. Noise: GROWL.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #apathy, #choosing, #comments, #two alternatives, #recommended option, #more expensive

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you read my comments on the two alternatives? Boss: No. Dilbert: I recommended option two because neither plan will work but option one is way more expensive. Boss: I already approved option one. Dilbert: If you need any more help, just let me know.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #review document, #comments, #research, #postpone, #plan a, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'll review your document and give you my comments this afternoon. Dilbert: No you won't. You'll read one paragraph then tell me to go research something so you can postpone dealing with it. Boss: They know about Plan "A."