Reading Zero Comic Strips - Page 11
243 Results for Reading Zero
View 101 - 110 results for reading zero comic strips. Discover the best "Reading Zero" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share June 27, 2002's comic on:
The Boss stops a sad employee and says, "Hey, guy, cheer up. You can choose to have a good attitude!" The sad employee replies, "I just found out I have six months to live." The Boss smiles and hands the employee a book. The Boss says, "Maybe I'm saying it wrong. Try reading the book yourself."
Share June 26, 2002's comic on:
Catbert says to a meeting, "This survey will help us improve morale." Dilbert turns to Catbert and says, "I misjudged you. I thought you were an evil director of H.R., but you care about morale." Catbert and The Boss are looking reading the surveys. Catbert says, "When we fire this disgruntled guy, my morale will go way up." The Boss giggles, "Hee Hee!"
Share June 22, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dilbert says, "I had my cell phone at one ear and my regular phone at the other." Dilbert continues, "I'm reading e-mail, sending instant messages, my pager is vibrating, and my boss comes in!" Dogbert says, "You know what makes your work stories fascinating?" Dilbert asks. "What?" Dogbert continues, "Nothing."
Share December 21, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert is home reading a newspaper. Ratbert says, "I'm starting a petition to end war. Do you want in on this?" Dilbert asks, "Who are you going to give it to?" Ratbert responds, "Say what?" Ratbert says, "I was hoping to sell it." Dilbert responds, "I'll sign it for a dollar."
Share October 19, 2001's comic on:
Catbert is standing on The Boss' desk. Catbert says, "We need to have an all- company meeting to talk about the layoffs." Catbert continues, "You might get some hostile questions owing to the fact that they found out about the layoffs by reading the newspaper." The Boss stands at a podium. He says, "No, I've never noticed that I leave a trail of reeking slime wherever I slither."
Share September 17, 2001's comic on:
The Boss is reading a newspaper. Catbert is standing on his desk. The Boss says, "The job market is getting worse every day!" Catbert replies, "Excellent!" The Boss chuckles and says, "Employees will be afraid. Our power to abuse them grows stronger by the minute!" Catbert grins widely. Catbert grins and dances. The Boss laughs and exclaims, "Ha ha! Stop doing the 'Evil Dance!' You're killing me!"
Share September 14, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert is reading a contract while meeting with a business associate. Dilbert says, "We've negotiated this contract for six weeks and today you double your delivery time?" Dilbert continues, "I can't tell if you're an incredibly devious weasel or simply incompetent." The business associate begins to pull on his own nose and says, "Here's a clue." The business associate pulls of his nose to reveal a weasel's nose underneath. It makes the sound, "poink."
Share September 13, 2001's comic on:
Asok and Ed are sitting at a computer. Ed looks irritated. Asok says, "Your accounting system is so dysfunctional that the results are meaningless." Asok continues, "How is it possible that no one has noticed?" Ed replies, "I've always wondered about that." The Boss is sitting at his desk. He thinks to himself, "My payroll expenses are zero again. I'm a management genius."
Share July 05, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert sits in a chair reading the paper. A worker approaches him and says, "I got the roof off. I'll be back next week to finish." Dilbert follows him to the door and says, "What if it rains?" The worker replies, "Then I'll work indoors." Dilbert follows him to his truck. He says, "But my house will be ruined." The worker says, "I can't control the weather."
Share March 05, 2001's comic on:
At a window marked 'Souls', a devil is standing behind the counter. Alice hands him a claim check and says, "I'd like my soul back. Here's my claim ticket." The devil, reading the claim ticket, says, "You've been demoted back to non-management. Very well." Outside Alice's cubicle, a little cloud hovers. Alice points into the cubicle and says to the cloud, "Get back in the cubicle." The cloud, which is Alice's soul, cries, "No-o-o-o!!"