Secretaries (Office) Comic Strips - Page 11
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1000 Results for Secretaries (Office)
View 101 - 110 results for secretaries (office) comic strips. Discover the best "Secretaries (Office)" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday June 01,
2020
Wally Has Symptoms
Tags lie, office workers, sickness, pandemic, virus
Transcript
Wally: My throat has a tickle, so I'd better take a month off of work. The coronavirus tests can have some false negatives, and I love you too much to put you at risk. Dilbert: Did it work? Wally: No, I sold it too hard.
Saturday May 30,
2020
Why Use Tests
Tags diseases, health & safety, medical, office workers, sarcasm, pandemic, virus, diagnose
Transcript
Dilbert: No face mask? Boss: I have antibodies for the virus. I'm pretty sure I had the virus last January when I had a throat tickle. Dilbert: I wonder why virus test kits exist when we can just ask people if they had it. Boss: I was wondering the same.
Thursday May 28,
2020
Wally Borrows Money
Tags danger, health & safety, money, office workers, social distancing
Transcript
Wally: I heard you are not practicing social distancing. Can I borrow some money? CEO: What does social distancing have to do with borrowing money? Wally: I like borrowing money when I might not have to pay it back.
Wednesday May 27,
2020
Boss Is In A High Risk Group
Tags criticism, health & safety, office workers, sarcasm, virus, pandemic, risk
Transcript
Carol: Are you worried about coronavirus because you're in a high-risk group? Boss: Why would I be in a high-risk group? Carol: Do you own a full-length mirror? Boss: No. They make me look fat.
Sunday May 24,
2020
Stopping Theft Everywhere
Tags office workers, business, technology, system, reduce, theft, dumb, product
Transcript
dilbert: and by using this system, we will drastically reduce theft. co-worker: that's the dumbest think i have ever heard. no one can stop theft everywhere in the world. dilbert: i said we would reduce it, not eliminate it. and only for our own products. co-worker: so, in other words, it won't work. dilbert: it works to reduce theft. co-worker: but you admit there will be theft. dilbert standing and yelling: what is wrong with you???? co-worker: hey, i'm not the one who is in favor of theft.
Friday May 22,
2020
Virus Hellscape
Tags boss, diseases, office workers, virus, pandemic
Transcript
Boss: Do you have ten munutes to come talk to me about the project timeline. Dilbert: Yes, but it isn't worth exposing myself to you virus-droplet hellscape. Boss: I'll just guess what you would have said. Dilbert: I think that's best.
Thursday May 21,
2020
Mumble Ventriloquists
Wednesday May 20,
2020
High Fives
Tags boss, hygiene, life, office workers, virus, pandemic, social distancing
Transcript
Boss: To avoid spreading viruses, there will be no shaking hands in the workplace. That custom has been replaced by uncomfortable body language and awkward banter about not shaking hands. Dilbert: Are high-fives still okay? Boss: Yes, we don't care if those people live or die.
Tuesday May 19,
2020
No Lunch With You
Tags diseases, lunch, office workers, rejection, virus, pandemic, invitation, social distancing
Transcript
Dilbert: Would you like to join me for lunch? Woman: I don't even want to be in the same zip code as your diseased mouth. No offense. Dilbert: None taken.
Monday May 18,
2020
Makeup Under Mask
Tags makeup, masks, offended, office workers, pandemic, human resources
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you wear makeup under the mask where no one can see it? Or do you leave your snout area all pale and pimply? Tina: Stop imagining me unmasked. Dilbert: I'll report myself to human resources.

