Service Anniversary Catalog Comic Strips - Page 11

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View 101 - 110 results for service anniversary catalog comic strips. Discover the best "Service Anniversary Catalog" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #casserole, #surgery, #ten year service party, #medical

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Carol enters Ted's cubicle and says, "Ted, your ten year service party will be on Tuesday." Ted replies, "I'm having surgery on Tuesday." Carol responds, "Maybe you could drop off a casserole on your way."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales call, #long distance, #how long?, #50 miles long, #don't know anyone

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The Boss' phone rings and he thinks to himself, "Again? That thing rang last week, too." A telephone company representative calls the Boss. "Hello. May I interest you in long distance phone service?" The Boss replies, "How long is it?" The telephone representative answers, "Umm...it's very long. Extremely long." The Boss replies in a demanding manner with one arm thrust in the air, "I need to know exactly how long it is!" The Boss continues to say, "If it's too short I'll have to shout the last mile! I hate that." The telephone respresentative replies, "Okay...it's fifty miles long." The Boss responds, "No, thanks. I don't know anyone fifty miles away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dumpster service, #save money, #discovered alternative costs, #tear off piece

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At a meeting, the Boss announces: "I cancelled our dumpster service to save money." He continues: "I discovered an alternative that costs nothing." He tells everyone as he hands them a sheet of paper: "Everyone tear off a piece and put it in your pocket."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #limbo, #a division of heck, #career limbo section, #wait to be seated

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Dilbert is at the threshold of an entrance bearing the sign: "Limbo, a division of Heck." Phil, the Ruler of Heck, tells Dilbert: "Step inside." Inside, standing by a "Please wait to be seated" sign, Phil informs Dilbert: "You'll be sitting in the Career Limbo section. Goodbye." Arms akimbo, Dilbert thinks to himself: "Jeepers! The service here is terrible!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #completed assignments, #service, #wrinkled paper

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The boss is sitting at his desk and Asok asks him: "I completed all my assigments. How many I be of service now?" The boss starts digging through his trash can and says: "I think I have something in here." Asok is sitting at his computer with a crumbled piece of paper in his hands, he thinks: "My other assigments were on wrinkled paper, too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #designing call center, #eployees, #bathroom breaks, #tiny cubicles, #monitor calls, #speed, #customer service

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Designing a Call Center Catbert: Give the employees six minutes of bathroom breaks per shift. The Boss: Tiny cubicles and we'll monitor calls and have incompatible objectives such as speed and customer service. = Wally: Hows the project going? Dilbert: Im still collecting the abuser requirements.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #celebrate service reps, #exceptional customer service, #emplyees, #extra pay, #smart employees, #someday

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The boss says, to Dilbert and Wally, "From now on, we will celebrate our service reps who give exceptional customer service." Dilbert says, "Question: Why would we celebrate employees who do extra work without getting extra pay?" The boss says, "It will make them happy." Dilbert says, "Can we celebrate the smart employees some day?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcarts dating service, #Advice, #accomplishments;lishments, #hate men, #designated bragger, #humble, #potential problem, #makeup

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Dilbert is preparing for a date. He combs his hair. Dogbert sits on the bed and says, 'Women like men who have accomplishments. But they hate men who boast." Dogbert says, "I will be your designated bragger, allowing you to appear humble." Dilbert says, "One potential problem with this plan is that I have no accomplishments." Dogbert says, "If she isn't wearing makeup, we'll be honest, too." His tail wags.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #information technology dept, #jordan the preventer, #request for service, #resource shortages, #reverse psychology

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Alice sits at her computer, behind her is Mordac. He says, "I am Mordac the Preventer, your liason from the information technology department." Mordac says, "I come with tales of resource shortages. Your request for our services has been denied." Alice stands up and is much taller than Mordac. She says, "I didn't request any of your services." Mordac replies, "Don't try your reverse psychology on me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #restaurant, #tipping waitress, #14 % tip, #service was excellent, #cheap, #lying, #unscrupulous weasel, #bad sevice

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Wally, Alice and Dilbert sit at a table in a restaurant. The waitress hands them the check and says, "Thank you. Please come again." The waitress thinks, "After I'm dead." Dilbert says, "If we each put in twelve dollars, that will give her a healthy fourteen percent tip." Wally says, "The service was excellent. I'll put in a little extra." Dilbert and Alice say, "Me too." Dilbert counts the money and says, "That gives us . . . Um . . . Only thirty-four dollars." Dilbert says, "One of us is a cheap, lying, unscrupulous weasel." They look at each other. Dilbert says, "Or maybe the service was bad." Wally says, "She didn't smile enough." Alice says, "Same as last week."