Short Sighted Ways Comic Strips - Page 11

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114 Results for Short Sighted Ways

View 101 - 110 results for short sighted ways comic strips. Discover the best "Short Sighted Ways" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #straw, #loser, #kill, #abusive, #coworker, #floyd, #blue, #short, #murderer, #cheater

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Ted says to Dilbert and Wally, "Everybody pick a straw. The loser has to kill our abusive co-worker, Floyd." Ted says, "Dilbert loses. He picked the blue straw." Dilbert says, "I thought the SHORT straw loses." Ted replies, "You're already a murderer; don't be a cheater too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #strategic, #diversification, #fund, #lawyers, #money, #bags, #Dogs, #bury

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Dilbert and the financial advisor sit at the table. The advisor says as Dilbert reads a brochure, "That's our new 'Strategic Diversification Fund.'" The man continues, "Our lawyers put your money in little bags, then we have trained dogs bury them around town." Dilbert asks, "Do they bury the bags or the lawyers?" The advisor replies, "We've tried it both ways."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #wilt, #ghandi, #chamberlain, #Women, #relations, #men and women

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A short man wearing an Indian pancha says to two women in a bar, "Hello, ladies." The man says, "I'm Wilt Ghandi. I'm the product of a genetic experiment combining the wisdom of Wilt Chamberlain and the body of Ghandi." One woman says, "That's the best line tonight. I'm going for it." The other woman says, "Hey, I saw him first."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #elbonians, #communist, #elbonia, #religious, #ways, #sky, #sign, #long, #live, #doug

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Dogbert lies in a bed recovering from his crash and two Elbonians sit beside the bed. One Elbonian says, "Elbonia was communist for forty years . . . We forgot our religious ways." The Elbonian continues, "When you fell from the sky I knew it was a sign from . . . Uh . . . Uh . . . Uh . . ." The other Elbonian asks, "Doug?" The Elbonian cries, "Long live Doug!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #sounds, #less, #million, #times, #french, #short, #tempered, #mockingly

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Dilbert says to a short man, "Hi, Les." Les says, "You say that almost mockingly." Les continues, "The way you say it, my name sounds like 'Less.' I've told you a million times it's French -- pronounced 'Lez.'" Dilbert says, "You seem a little short-tempered." Les says, "Hey! That time you did it on purpose!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #step, #outside, #smallish, #side, #kick, #fight, #butt, #wants, #piece, #accidentally, #soak

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Dilbert and some co-workers sit at a conference table. A tiny man says to Dilbert, "I disagree with everything you said. Who wants to step outside and fight about it?!!!" The little man says, "I may be on the smallish side but I can kick any butt in this room!!" The short man continues, "C'mon, who wants a piece of me??!" A woman next to Dilbert whispers, "It's my fault. I accidentally used him to soak up a coffee spill this morning."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #government, #insured, #depositors, #lost, #money, #divvying, #senator

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Dogbert opens the door and a man in a suit says, "I'm from the government. We're repaying insured depositors who lost money in 'Ethel's S $ L.'" The man continues, "We're a little short on cash ourselves, so we're divvying up the items Ethel bought." Dogbert holds a man's hand and says to Dilbert, "I got a senator."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #the boss, #consultant, #clarify, #company, #policy, #discrimination, #unpopular, #religions, #short, #bald, #fat, #handicapped

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The Boss tells Dilbert and several co-workers, "I've hired a consultant to clarify our company policy on discrimination." Dogbert says, "It is against policy to discriminate based on race, sex, age, handicap or religion." A man raises his hand and asks, "Does that include unpopular, little religions?" Dogbert replies, "No, those are considered cults; you may discriminate freely against them." A woman raises her hand and asks, "What about short, bald, fat, ugly men? Are they considered 'handicapped'?" Dogbert replies, "Technically, no. You can still tease them and deny them promotions as usual." Dogbert continues, "Likewise, you may discriminate against nerds, smokers, and single people." Dogbert continues, "And we've dropped 'stupid people' from the watch list, as their lobbying efforts proved ineffective . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #palm, #reading, #psychic, #short, #pencil, #grease, #intelligence, #Dogbert

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Dilbert sits at a table with a woman who looks at his hand and says, "Your life line is very short." The sign behind them says, "Palm Reading $20." The woman writes on Dilbert's hand and says, "I can get you a few more years by extending the line with this grease pencil." Back at home, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Someday I should go back and have her lengthen my intelligence line too." Dogbert replies, "I'd hurry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #paper, #plastic, #bag, #recylced, #short, #sighted, #planet, #destroying, #conservation

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Dilbert stands at the supermarket register. The clerk asks, "Paper or plastic bag?" The checker continues, "Paper that can be recycled . . . Or an evil, selfish, short-sighted, planet-destroying, stupid plastic bag?!!" Dilbert answers, "Plastic." The checker says, "Good. That's all we have."