Slow Speed Of Light Comic Strips - Page 11

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163 Results for Slow Speed Of Light

View 101 - 110 results for slow speed of light comic strips. Discover the best "Slow Speed Of Light" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 1999's comic on:


Tags #big binder clips, #untie neighbors, #homework, #light gasoline, #education

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Dilbert stands at Carol's desk. Dilbert says, "....And one box of those big binder clips...." Carol's phone rings. Carol screams into the phone, "Timmy, unite the neighbors and do your homework." Dilbert says, "Maybe I'll come back later." Carol says, "Do NOT light that gasoline!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 1998's comic on:


Tags #maintain urgency, #speed is key, #faster than competition, #sign stuff, #logical questions, #motivational messages

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The boss says, "WE must maintain a sense of urgency. Speed is the key. We must be faster than the competition." Dilbert says, "Does that mean you'll sign the stuff that's been on your desk for a month?" Dilbert is at home. Dilbert says, to Dogbert, "Logical questions don't mix with motivational messages."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1998's comic on:


Tags #complex financial model, #lindbergh, #inventing light bulb, #boss is dumb

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Dilbert holds a diskette in front of his boss. Dilbert says, "I created a complex financial model for our company." The Boss says, "Let's see." Dilbert says, "It's dangerous if you don't understand it." The Boss says, "That's what they told Lindbergh.." The Boss says, "But that didn't stop him from inventing the lightbulb."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 1998's comic on:


Tags #slow witted coworkers, #lunch room, #eating lunch, #coworkers

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Alice sits at lunch with Wally and Dilbert. Alice says, "I'd love my job if not for my slow-witted co-workers." No reaction. Wally says, "Am not." Dilbert turn to Wally and says, "You're drinking my soda again!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 1998's comic on:


Tags #ann, #dilbert makes bet, #hair on fire, #curses, #super natural powers, #harms coworkers

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Dilbert and Ted stand behind Ann. Dilbert holds out a match. Dilbert says, "Ann, I made a bet with Ted that you could ignite this match by swearing at it." Ann screams at Ted, "How dare you bet against me, Ted, you #%!!*!" Ted's hair light on fire. Dilbert looks at the match. Dilbert says, "Dang! How about double or nothing!" Ted is now a smoking skull. Ted says, "I want my dollar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 1998's comic on:


Tags #goal to motivate, #build global satellite netwrok, #feel sdifferent, #Right, #energetic feeling, #pinned, #burning couch, #dizzy, #budget cuts

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The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper and says, "This is the goal that will motivate you for the next year." Dilbert reads from the piece of paper: "'Build a global satellite network. Budget: $12,000.'" Dilbert looks at the Boss and says, "Motivation feels much different from what I imagined." Dilbert continues, "I was expecting a light, energetic feeling." Dilbert continues speaking and illustrates with his hands, "But it's more like being pinned under a burning couch." Dilbert puts his hand to his head and says, "Whoo, I'm getting dizzy." Dilbert stands up slowly and says, "I'd better lie down until the motivation wears off." The Boss leaves the room with Dilbert lying on the table. The Boss says, "He's going to be trouble during the next round of budget cuts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogcarts tech support, #abuse, #slow internet, #records, #porn, #caused by porn

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Caption: Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert at computer terminal speaking to employee on the phone. Dogbert says, "How may I abuse you today?" Employee responds, "The Internet is slow. What causes that?" Employee sitting at his terminal speaking to Dogbert on the phone. Dogbert says, "That can only be caused by you looking at porn." Dogbert says, "I'll need your name for our records." Dogbert hears a "Click" on the line.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 1997's comic on:


Tags #cobol, #cobol code, #glaciers, #vast experience, #rewrite, #incharge, #dinosaur, #intern, #meteor kill

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The Boss says to Asok and Bob, "You two will be in charge of rewriting our COBOL code to fix the millenium problem." The Boss puts his arm on Asok's shoulder and says, "I realize you've never worked on COBOL before, Asok. That's why I'm teaming you with Bob, so you can learn from his vast experience." Bob and Asok sit at a computer. Asok says, "So, you recommend waiting for a meteor to kill us all." Bob says, "The glaciers are way too slow."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 1997's comic on:


Tags #downsized, #dinosaurs, #spike things, #safety hazrd, #ate ficus tree, #being professional

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Dogbert says to Dawn, Bob and Rex, "There's not enough room for all of you dinosaurs. One of you must be downsized." Bob says, "If it helps, these spikey things are a safety hazard. And little Rex ate your ficus tree." Dogbert says, "Thanks for being professional about this, Bob." Bob holds up Little Rex and says, "When you put him in good light, how cute is he really?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 1997's comic on:


Tags #blueprints, #new cubicle, #window view, #hot by window, #breeze

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Dilbert holds his box of stuff and Wally holds the office floorplan. Wally says, "According to the blueprints, your new cubicle has a support beam in it." Dilbert stands in his cubicle which is taken up mostly by a huge support beam. He thinks, "At least I have a window view." At home, Dilbert looks disheveled and sweats. He says, "It's one hundred-eight degrees by the window but at least there's a breeze from the people who walk by and laugh." Dogbert sits on the arm of the couch and says, "Don't let me slow your search for someone who's interested."