Snap You Into Next Week Comic Strips - Page 11

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View 101 - 110 results for snap you into next week comic strips. Discover the best "Snap You Into Next Week" comics from Dilbert.com.

You Have To Work Hard To Succeed

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You Have To Work Hard To Succeed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #Wally, #work, #hard, #single, #day, #years, #succeed, #topic

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The Boss: If you want to succeed, you have to work hard every single day for years. Dilbert: That sounds awful. You just talked me out of wanting to succeed. Did you work that hard to get where you are? The Boss: Next topic!

Dogbert The Insultant

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Dogbert The Insultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #business, #insultant, #journal, #week, #fat, #stupid, #question, #list

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Dogbert the business insultant. Dogbert: Make a journal of everything you do for a week. Then stop doing everything that is on your list because it's making you fat and stupid. The Boss: I have some questions. Dogbert: Add "asks questions" to your list.

Dogbert Throws Penalty Flag

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Dogbert Throws Penalty Flag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #the boss, #asok, #Wally, #Dilbert, #accomplish, #addicted, #apps, #fortnite, #slept, #losers, #podcast

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Alice: I accomplished nothing this week because I'm addicted to apps on my phone. I haven't slept in three days because of my "Fortnite" habit. The Boss: What about the rest of you losers? Asok: Shhh. I got a one-ear podcast going here.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #employee, #calendar, #week, #awkward, #problem, #schedule, #relative, #lunch, #sandwich

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Male Employee: Do you have an hour to meet next week? Dilbert: Let me check my calendar. Next week is not good. Male Employee: You don't have one hour of free time all week? Dilbert: Well, this is awkward. The problem isn't my schedule so much as your total lack of value relative to my alternatives. Male Employee: Maybe we could meet over lunch? Dilbert: I like to focus on my sandwich.

Resistance Is Futile

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Resistance Is Futile - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #invention, #thoughts, #computer, #commands, #individual, #part, #collective, #internet, #sexy, #resistance, #futile

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Dilbert: My invention can read my thoughts and turn them into computer commands. I'm no longer an individual. Now I'm part of the collective internet mind. Woman: That is the least sexy thing I have ever heard. Dilbert:

Device Can Read Minds

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Device Can Read Minds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #device, #read, #thoughts, #turn, #computer, #commands, #theories, #engineer, #engineering, #invention, #nothing, #broken

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Dilbert: I invented a device that can read your thoughts and turn them into computer commands. The Boss: Nothing is happening. Is it broken? Dilbert: That's one of my top two theories.

Candor Monster

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Candor Monster - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #carol, #radical candor, #therapy, #criticism, #monster

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The Boss: My new system of using "radical candor," is working out great. I've been criticizing people all morning and only three of them went into therapy over it. Now I turn my candor to you. Carol: Die, monster!

Radical Candor

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Radical Candor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #management, #radical condor, #time, #computer

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The Boss: I've decided to adopt a hot new management trend called, "Radical Condor." The trick is to be direct yet kind at the same time. Dilbert: What were you doing before? The Boss: Let's not get into that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #draft, #same day, #sloth, #tardiness

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The Boss: I told you a week ago that I needed your first draft by today. This is exactly why I say bad things about you behind your back! I need employees I can rely on! Your tardiness and sloth cannot be rewarded. Dilbert: I gave you the first draft the same day you asked. In fact, I think you're holding it in your hand right now. The Boss: I'll be back when I figure out how this is still your fault.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #Dilbert, #Wally, #chatbot, #plumbing supply, #website, #sister

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Wally: I fell in love with a chatbot. We met on a plumbing supply website. I started innocently. I had a few questions about faucets. Next thing I knew, she was getting flirty. Now we chat for hours every night. Alice: That is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard you creepy loser. Dilbert: Does your chatbot have a sister?