Solve Problems Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

216 Results for Solve Problems

View 101 - 110 results for solve problems comic strips. Discover the best "Solve Problems" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #newspaper, #economy, #hardship, #sacrifice, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonian says, "The big countries are having economic problems. Experts say it will soon affect Elbonia." Elbonian says, "We'll need to cut back on some of our luxury expenses." Elbonia says, "You can stop practicing your fetching," Pig says, "Should I ask why?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #yelling, #budget, #meeting, #begging, #confused, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Until the economy improves, we are instituting a mandatory week off every quarter." The boss says, "At least you'll have more time with your families." Ted says, Nooo!!! Not my family!!!" The boss says, "Problems at home?" Ted says, "May I please work without pay?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health problems, #absenteeism, #raise, #avoid exercise

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Health problems and absenteeism are a huge cost to this business." The Boss says, "So?" Wally says, "So give me a raise, or I'll eat unhealthy food and avoid all forms of exercise." The Boss says, "You already do those things." Wally says, "How could you possibly know that?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failed to accomplish.objectives, #physical impossiblities, #logical impossibilities, #unforeseen problems, #spying, #consumer fraud, #win converstaion

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Why have you failed to accomplish any of your objectives this quarter?" Dilbert says, "Well, I took the objectives you gave me and put them into three categories." Dilbert says, "The first group includes physical impossibilities, such as being in two places at the same time." Dilbert says, "The second group includes logical impossibilities, such as anticipating unforeseen problems." Dilbert says, "Last, we have the illegal objectives, including industrial spying and consumer fraud." Dilbert says, "So I spend my time doing things that are both important and legal, while hoping you wouldn't fire me for it." Dilbert says, "Whoa, what just happened? Is it my imagination, or did I just win this conversation?" Dilbert says, "It was my imagination."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology changes, #chasing knowledge, #observe, #network problem, #servers, #satisfied customer

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "Wally, how do you keep up with all of the changes in technology?" Wally says, "Chasing knowledge is a fool's game, Asok." Wally says, "I use experience to answer questions without the burden of knowledge. Observe." A man says, "Wally, if we upgrade our servers, would that solve our network problem?" Wally says, "If the problem is the servers, yes." The man says, "I'll ask someone else." Wally says, "There goes another satisfied customer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appear to be concerned, #decision making, #frequently thwarted, #impractical advice, #no one decides, #perpetual problems, #rarely disappointed, #unwarranted optimism

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I have an issue." The Boss says, "Lordy lord." Dilbert says, "No one in the department wants to be left out of the decision making." Dilbert says, "But no one is willing to make a decision." Dilbert says, "As a result, all of my problems are perpetual." Dilbert says, "Can you do something about that?" The Boss says, "I can appear to be concerned. How's this expression?" Dilbert says, "Can you combine that with some impractical advice and unwarranted optimism?" Dilbert says, "I'm frequently thwarted, but rarely disappointed."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #5 minute huddle, #high energy, #standup meeting, #solved in minute

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I want the entire staff to meet at 10 A.M. every day for a five-minute huddle. The Boss: We'll use this high-energy stand-up meeting to solve problems and share successes. The Boss: Who has a problem that can be solved in a minute?"Wally: I'm tired. Can I sit on you?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career day, #classroom, #guest speaker, #Dilbert, #engineering, #tells all, #explaining things, #to idiots, #make decisions, #misinterpreting, #massic=ve problems, #rumors overwhelm, #assign blame, #unpopular

View Transcript

Transcript

Career Day Teacher: "Class, today Dilbert will tell us what a career in engineering is all about." Dilbert: "My job involves explaining things to idiots.""Then the idiots make decisions based on misinterpreting what I said." "Then it is my job to try and fix the massive problems caused by the bad decisions." "Eventually rumors overwhelm facts, and I give up." "In the final phase, I assign blame to a unpopular coworker." "So whatever you do in life don't be unpopular." Teacher: "Don't listen to him!" Dilbert: "Said the unpopular teacher."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #problems, #solutions, #won't work, #moron

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Don't bring me problems, bring me solutions." Dilbert: "When I bring you solutions, you tell me they won't work and treat me like a moron." The boss: "What's the problem with that?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drunken lemurs, #have talent, #busy, #fixing problems

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Why does it seem as if most of the decisions in my workplace are made by drunken lemurs?" Garbageman: "Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent." Dilbert: "Why are talented people so busy?" Garbageman: "They're fixing the problems made by people who have time."