Talking Clothes Comic Strips - Page 11

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View 101 - 110 results for talking clothes comic strips. Discover the best "Talking Clothes" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #email, #insulting, #intelligence, #iq, #trickery, #work ethic, #obession, #addiction, #work smarter, #text, #efficiency

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Wally: Studies show that continually checking email lowers your functional I.Q. You advised me to "work smarter," so I plan to ignore all of your email from now on. Boss: What if I text you instead? Wally: That's the sort of question that one asks after checking email too often. Boss: Did you just insult me? Wally: That answer is in your email. Boss: Where is it? I don't see any email from you. But I see six new emails that look important. What were we talking about. Wally: You were complimenting me on my efficiency.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business casual, #clothing, #dorks, #dress code, #fashion, #business dorky, #unstylish, #tan colored, #dumb name, #new order

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Catbert: Our new dress code is "Business Dorky." Your clothes must be dorky, unstylish, and 50% tan colored. Dilbert: So... business casual? Catbert: That's a dumb name for it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #high five, #human resources, #managers, #work ethic, #trash talking, #emplyee, #boss, #desk, #practice, #cat, #human, #animals, #business

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Catbert: I'm getting complaints that you've been trash-talking employees' families so they'll spend more time at work. I stopped by to give you a high-five from Human Resources. Your aim is terrible. Boss: The first one was practice~

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assumption, #business ethics, #buy prodcuts, #corporate strategy, #corporation, #customer centric, #etiquette & ethics, #evil, #executives, #ideas, #marketing campaign, #monopoly, #needs, #needs of customers, #psychological manipulation

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CEO: I welcome any input on our corporate strategy. Dilbert: I think we need to be more customer-centric. CEO: You mean raise our prices? Dilbert: I mean focus on the needs of our customers. CEO: You mean we should be a monopoly so they need us? Dilbert: Um, no. We should find out what they need and then give it to them. CEO: They need to buy our products. Dilbert: They probably don't. CEO: So you're saying our marketing campaign should use psychological manipulation to make people think they need our products. You finally had a good idea. Dilbert: I'm going to stop talking now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #artificial intelligence, #software, #phb test, #hide, #html5, #talking, #engineering

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Dilbert: My artificial intelligence software passes the PHB test. That means I can hide it behind a curtain and people won't know if they're talking to a computer or a pointy-haired boss. Computer, what is HTML5? Computer: Beats me. Boss: I was going to say that!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analogies, #conversation, #language, #operational, #puppet ate dictionary, #operationalize strategy

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Boss: What can I do to help you operationalize our strategy? Dilbert: You could stop talking like a puppet that ate a dictionary. Boss: I don't know how analogies work. Dilbert: I'm counting on that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #idiots, #agree, #talking to idiots

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Alice: I was just talking to some idiots. They agree with you on every topic. Boss: What is your point? Alice: That's exactly what they would say!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #obliviousness, #million units, #customers happy, #our goals, #their goals, #this quarter

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CEO: Our goal is to ship a million units this quarter. Dilbert: Do we have any goals that involve making customers happy? CEO: I'm talking about our goals, not their goals. Boss: Totally different.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chipmunks, #in hair, #less talking, #love, #more rubbing, #rodents, #oxytocin levels, #human contact, #family of chipmunks, #relationships

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Wally: It boosts my oxytocin levels without the need for human contact. Alice: You didn't invent that. I've had a family of chipmunks living my hair since the eighties. Chipmunk: There goes our privacy. Alice: Less talking, more rubbing!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human body, #love, #rodents, #hugs, #without hassle, #oxytocin, #levels, #cuddles, #relationships

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Wally: I want the health benefits of hugging without the hassle of a relationship. This rat is like a patch that increases my ocytocin levels. Rat: I thought we were in love. Wally: That's your oxytocin talking.