Technology Comic Strips - Page 11

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803 Results for Technology

View 101 - 110 results for technology comic strips. Discover the best "Technology" comics from Dilbert.com.

Online Class Muted

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Online Class Muted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, online, training, diversity, inclusion, mute, course, confess, idiots

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boss: my records show you completed the online training for diversity and inclusion. apparently, you did not know we can detect it when you have the sound muted during the entire course. colleague: oops. dilbert: you can do that? Boss: no, but i can trick most of you idiots into confessing.

Working At Home Benefits

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Working At Home Benefits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags loneliness, office, technology, video conference, work at home, co-workers, mute

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dilbert at home on bed. wally's voice from laptop: how do you like working at home all the time now? dilbert: i was delighted to discover that a crushing sense of loneliness is better than spending time with my co-workers. wally: no offense taken. dilbert: and don't get me started about the splendor of the mute button.

Share Your Screen

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Share Your Screen  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags embarrassment, technology, business, office, video conference, zoom, share, screen, quit

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dilbert looking at laptop on video conference voice from laptop: let me share my screen and i'll...uh-oh. oops. not that screen. don't judge me! how do i make it go away?!!! gaaa!!! i can't take the embarrassment! i quit! Dogbert and dilbert in another room dogbert: how was your zoom call? dilbert: best one ever.

Satellite Launch

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Satellite Launch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags satellite, launch, radar, alien, spaceship, systems, technology, reality, suggestion, rocket, trajectory, bird, belgium

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dilbert in control room with others: we've triple-checked all systems, and we are ready to launch the satellite. nothing can go wrong. initiating launch. boss: nothing can go wrong? what if an alien spaceship appears over the launch site? dilbert: gaaa!!! don't jinx us. boss: that's not how reality works. i can't make things happen just by suggesting them. dilbert: you're wrong! that is exactly how reality works! wa;;y: something just appeared on radar directly above the rockets trajectory. boss: maybe it's a bird. wally: it's the size of belgium.

Real Men Multitask

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Real Men Multitask  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, software, software design, concentrate, multitask, distraction, kill, error

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boss: do you ever think about the fact that one small error in your software design could kill hundreds of people? all it would take is some kind of distraction while you are trying to concentrate. dilbert: are you done? boss: a real man could multitask in this situation.

Cushion In Schedule

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Cushion In Schedule - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, weekend, work, deadline, due date, schedule, input, critical, liar, credibility, exaggerate

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dilbert: i worked all weekend to get this done for you by the deadline. boss: thanks, but i won't need it for another two weeks. dilbert: then...why did you tell me the deadline was today? boss: i built some cushion into the schedule. dilbert: you mean, you lied to me about the real deadline. in other words, you don't trust me, you are a liar, and i should never believe you again. boss: but you didn't miss the deadline! dilbert: okay, well, at least my input is critical to our success. boss: i might have exaggerated that.

Angry Tech Writers

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Angry Tech Writers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, business, exercise, technology, writing, tech writer, underpaid, coffee, hate

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dilbert: why is your writing so angry? tina: tech writers are underpaid, so all of our envy and contempt spill out on the page. dilbert: maybe you tech writers should drink less coffee and exercise more. tina: this is exactly why we hate everyone.

Elbonian Words

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Elbonian Words - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, elbonian, headquarters, language, factory, Word

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boss: headquarters has released a new list of things you are not supposed to say when visiting our elbonian factory. at the top of the list, never say "glfalawah" to an elbonian. alice: because it means something naughty? boss: because it isn't a word.

Ted Liked A Tweet

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Ted Liked A Tweet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employment, managers & supervisors, fired, business, twitter, tweet, hacked, technology, social media, file, lie, plausible, liked, unacceptable

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boss: ted, i have to fire you for liking an unacceptable tweet seven years ago on twitter. ed: it..it..wasn't me. someone hacked my account, or maybe my finger slipped. boss: which lie do you want me to put in your file? ted: did either of them sound plausible?

No Performance Reviews

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No Performance Reviews  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employment, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, Political, social, opinions, ranking, acceptable

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boss in staff meeting: the company will no longer do performance reviews. from now on, you will be ranked on the acceptability of your political and social opinions. dilbert: do you have a list of acceptable opinions? boss: there will be no hints.