Technology Comic Strips - Page 11
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803 Results for Technology
View 101 - 110 results for technology comic strips. Discover the best "Technology" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday November 26,
2020
Online Class Muted
Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, online, training, diversity, inclusion, mute, course, confess, idiots
Transcript
boss: my records show you completed the online training for diversity and inclusion. apparently, you did not know we can detect it when you have the sound muted during the entire course. colleague: oops. dilbert: you can do that? Boss: no, but i can trick most of you idiots into confessing.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday November 24,
2020
Working At Home Benefits
Tags loneliness, office, technology, video conference, work at home, co-workers, mute
Transcript
dilbert at home on bed. wally's voice from laptop: how do you like working at home all the time now? dilbert: i was delighted to discover that a crushing sense of loneliness is better than spending time with my co-workers. wally: no offense taken. dilbert: and don't get me started about the splendor of the mute button.
Monday November 23,
2020
Share Your Screen
Tags embarrassment, technology, business, office, video conference, zoom, share, screen, quit
Transcript
dilbert looking at laptop on video conference voice from laptop: let me share my screen and i'll...uh-oh. oops. not that screen. don't judge me! how do i make it go away?!!! gaaa!!! i can't take the embarrassment! i quit! Dogbert and dilbert in another room dogbert: how was your zoom call? dilbert: best one ever.
Sunday November 22,
2020
Satellite Launch
Tags satellite, launch, radar, alien, spaceship, systems, technology, reality, suggestion, rocket, trajectory, bird, belgium
Transcript
dilbert in control room with others: we've triple-checked all systems, and we are ready to launch the satellite. nothing can go wrong. initiating launch. boss: nothing can go wrong? what if an alien spaceship appears over the launch site? dilbert: gaaa!!! don't jinx us. boss: that's not how reality works. i can't make things happen just by suggesting them. dilbert: you're wrong! that is exactly how reality works! wa;;y: something just appeared on radar directly above the rockets trajectory. boss: maybe it's a bird. wally: it's the size of belgium.
Monday November 16,
2020
Real Men Multitask
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, software, software design, concentrate, multitask, distraction, kill, error
Transcript
boss: do you ever think about the fact that one small error in your software design could kill hundreds of people? all it would take is some kind of distraction while you are trying to concentrate. dilbert: are you done? boss: a real man could multitask in this situation.
Sunday November 15,
2020
Cushion In Schedule
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, weekend, work, deadline, due date, schedule, input, critical, liar, credibility, exaggerate
Transcript
dilbert: i worked all weekend to get this done for you by the deadline. boss: thanks, but i won't need it for another two weeks. dilbert: then...why did you tell me the deadline was today? boss: i built some cushion into the schedule. dilbert: you mean, you lied to me about the real deadline. in other words, you don't trust me, you are a liar, and i should never believe you again. boss: but you didn't miss the deadline! dilbert: okay, well, at least my input is critical to our success. boss: i might have exaggerated that.
Saturday November 14,
2020
Angry Tech Writers
Tags anger, business, exercise, technology, writing, tech writer, underpaid, coffee, hate
Transcript
dilbert: why is your writing so angry? tina: tech writers are underpaid, so all of our envy and contempt spill out on the page. dilbert: maybe you tech writers should drink less coffee and exercise more. tina: this is exactly why we hate everyone.
Wednesday November 11,
2020
Elbonian Words
Tags business, technology, elbonian, headquarters, language, factory, Word
Transcript
boss: headquarters has released a new list of things you are not supposed to say when visiting our elbonian factory. at the top of the list, never say "glfalawah" to an elbonian. alice: because it means something naughty? boss: because it isn't a word.
Tuesday November 10,
2020
Ted Liked A Tweet
Tags employment, managers & supervisors, fired, business, twitter, tweet, hacked, technology, social media, file, lie, plausible, liked, unacceptable
Transcript
boss: ted, i have to fire you for liking an unacceptable tweet seven years ago on twitter. ed: it..it..wasn't me. someone hacked my account, or maybe my finger slipped. boss: which lie do you want me to put in your file? ted: did either of them sound plausible?
Monday November 09,
2020
No Performance Reviews
Tags business, employment, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, Political, social, opinions, ranking, acceptable
Transcript
boss in staff meeting: the company will no longer do performance reviews. from now on, you will be ranked on the acceptability of your political and social opinions. dilbert: do you have a list of acceptable opinions? boss: there will be no hints.

