Took Desk Comic Strips - Page 11
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View 101 - 110 results for took desk comic strips. Discover the best "Took Desk" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share March 08, 2010's comic on:
Dogbert the Generic Manager Man says, "We need more people on the project." Dogbert says, "Figure it out. Work smarter not harder. Make a plan. Move some things around. Adjust priorities. Just get it done. Give me a status report." Man says, "That did nothing but make me hate you." Dogbert says, "I can replace you with someone who will pretend to be inspired."
Share February 18, 2010's comic on:
Asok says, "Our ombudsman took my soul in exchange for a favorable view." Asok says, "I'd like a transfer to marketing, where having no soul is widely considered an asset." Man says, "I need someone who can make our product sound competitive without vomiting on his own copy." Asok says, "Ooh! Ooh!"
Share January 27, 2010's comic on:
Dilbert says, "The urgent e-mail you forwarded to the entire company is a hoax." Dilbert says, "People don't really burst into flames if they use their cell phones during an eclipse." Dilbert says, "And more bad news: The witless protection program isn't a real thing."
Share December 20, 2009's comic on:
Woman says, "Please order a new stapler for me," Carol says, "Did your old one break?" Woman says, "Only in spirit." Woman says, "Every person who came into my cubivle picked it up and fiddled with it," Woman says, "At first I would wipe off the cooties and try to forget." Woman says, "In time my stapler became imbued with sorrow and desperation of every dead-ender that fondled it." Woman says, "I covered it with a plastic bowl and taped it to the desk so no fumes can escape." Wally says, "If you're wondering why your chair is warm, it's because I borrowed it for a meeting." Woman says, "What's the biggest bowl you can order?"
Share December 13, 2009's comic on:
Man says, "Wally, can you take a look at this?" Wally says, "I'd be delighted. What's your project charge code?" Man says, "It will only take a minute." Wally says, "Are you suggesting that I lie about my time?" Man says, "It's only one minute." Wally says, "By that line of reasong, it's okay to steal as long as you don't take too much." Wally says, "Incidentally, I have to charge you for the time it just took to label you a thief." Man says, "FORGET I'LL ASK SOMEONE ELSE!" Wally thinks, "Let's call that overhead."
Share October 28, 2009's comic on:
The Boss says, "Alice, remove the toys from your cubicle. It sends the wrong message." Alice says ,"You mean the message that says this company is a creative environment that values the individual?" The Boss says, "Exactly. We're going for more of an egg carton vibe."
Share October 19, 2009's comic on:
the Boss says, "Why didn't you get my input on the vendor selection?" Dilbert says, "I tried, but?" Dilbert says, "You're so easily distracted that for all practical purposes you're nothing but furniture with coffee breath." The Boss says, "Where were we?" Dilbert says, "You were praising me for my good attitude."
Share September 07, 2009's comic on:
The Boss says, "Welcome to your first day on the job." The boss says, "Always lock your desk at night because many of your coworkers are crooks." The boss says, "And the ones that have eyes like this got hired before we did drug testing."
Share August 29, 2009's comic on:
The Boss says, "Asok, rummage through the piles on my desk and find yourself something to do." The boss says, "Afterward, chastise yourself for not doing it the way I would have." Asok says, "Even if you would have done it wrong?" The boss, "Especially then. No one likes a show-off."
Share June 21, 2009's comic on:
The boss says, "Alice, you'll be acting manager next week while I'm on vacation." Alice says, "I can't. I'll be in a training class all week." The boss says, "Dilbert, you'll?" Dilbert says, "I'll be at a customer site all week." The boss says, "Carol..." Carol says, "I'll be getting my tubes tied." The Boss says, "Asok..." Asok says, "I'm going to my grandmother's funeral in India." Wally says, "Yes? Is there something you need me to do?" The Boss says, "Attend a funeral in India. Tell everyone you're Asok and you had a horrible accident." The boss says, "Tell them the acid destroyed your hair and your personality." Wally says, "That took an ugly turn."