Touch Stuff Comic Strips - Page 11
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"There's more to being a manager than just having an ashtray for a head." "There is?" "Yes, and I am doing a lot of research to find out what those other things are." Later, at the library "This is good stuff." Cat Fancy
"In order to boost productivity, the company has decided that employees can not use e-mail on Fridays." "What if my highest priorities require e-mail? Should I waste my day doing worthless stuff?" "Geez, somehow you made a great idea seem ridiculous." "Yeah, that's all me."
"This is Dogbert's tech support. How may I abuse you?" "I get an error message every time I open an application." "Try giving me all of your personal information and then checking into rehab." "Then I'll have someone steal your identity and move in with your wife." "There's a good chance that the new guy will know how to fix your computer." "When you get out of rehab, talk your wife into taking you back." "Then never touch your computer again because it hurts the ones you love." "How's work?" "Everyone wants to talk to my supervisor."
"Asok, this is Albert. He's old but we need to call him mature." "Explain to him what the computers are, but don't let him touch anything. The elderly like to fiddle." "I was a chip designer in my last job." "Really? Chocolate or poker?"
"Wally, you've agreed to pull together all of the technical specifications by Thursday, right?" "Yes, I'll look into pulling that stuff together." "I don't need you to 'look into it.' I need you to do it." "I agree." "Are you agreeing that I need it or agreeing to do it?" "You will have the list of who has the technical specifications by Thursday." "I don't need the list of who has them. I need the specifications!" "I agree." "GAAA!!! Forget it! I'll get them myself!" "Did you help Bob get what he needs?" "He'll have everything by Thursday."
"Alice, my laptop is slowing down. Can you take a look at it?" "Here's the problem. There's too much smut on your hard drive." "I recommend deleting the film clips that have poor lighting." "And here's a whole category that you haven't looked at in weeks." "I'll move those to an external drive in case you need 'em later." "Wally has all this stuff on the server. You don't need it on your laptop." "What the...? You pinhead! You disabled your firewall!" "If you work here long enough, your outrage ends up in all of the wrong places." "Who moved my stapler?!!"
"Why is your project months behind?" "I still don't have the user's requirements because she's a complete nut job." "It's your job to manage that process!" "I complained to her boss, who promptly misinterpreted the problem and ordered her to work on the wrong stuff." "Then every member of her family got a serious illness. Then she got called to jury duty." "She promised to give me the requirements this afternoon." "It was too hard to come up with my own requirements, so I just copied the requirements from another product." "Is the other product similar to what you want?" "Where are you going with this?"
The Boss: We're going to have an employee appreciation day on the 8th! "That's a Sunday." Alice: That's the best day for a potluck lunch. The Boss: You'll have all day Saturday to make a dish to share!" "I'll need a volunteer to organize everything. Let's see...Which one of you is the woman?" "Bring jackets. It's supposed to be about 45 degrees in the park that day." "I won't be able to attend because I do personal stuff on weekends." "Take pictures!" I hope no one else brought a pine cone appetizer."
"Tex, I'd like you to meet Asok, our intern." "Asok? What kind of name is that? Are you a taxi driver?" "Um...no." "I've produced bigger things than you by eating fiber!" "Do they have schools where you came from?" "Actually, Asok graduated from the Indian Institute of Technology. So if I were you, I wouldn't make him angry." "Why? What's he gonna do? Gnaw on my ankle?" "Explode! Explode!" BOOM! "They taught you some good stuff." "Nah. You can't even get in unless you can do that."