50% Chance Comic Strips - Page 11

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

113 Results for 50% Chance

View 101 - 110 results for 50% chance comic strips. Discover the best "50% Chance" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Fixes His Problem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Fixes His Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product safety, #danger, #battery, #recall, #cell phone, #samsung, #media, #Entertainment, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The press says I need to resign because of our exploding phones fiasco. Dilbert: Maybe you can change their minds by sending the press our new model that doesn't explode. CEO: I already sent them the exploding phones and said it was our new models. Your way left too much to chance.

Boss Counts Cards

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Counts Cards  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gambling, #gambler, #card counting, #blackjack, #poker, #cards

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've decided to become a professional gambler on the side. Dilbert: Sounds risky. Boss: Nah. I'm teaching myself to count cards. 50...51...51...53! Nailed it again!

The Extra 10%

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Extra 10%  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #excuses, #effort, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our project can only succeed if each of us gives 110 percent. Voice 1: I'm off next week. Voice 2: I have surgery on Monday. Voice 3: I gave my two-week notice a week ago. Boss: Okay, can I get a 50 percent effort from any of you? Wally: I can only give you the extra 10 percent you believe exists.

Dating A Skeleton

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dating A Skeleton - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sex, #dating, #relationships, #questioning, #desperation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Skeleton: Go ahead. But if you ask me if I'm dead, there is no chance I'll be rattling bones with you later. What's your question? Dilbert: It can wait until tomorrow.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #the boss, #bad, #technology, #day, #phone, #freezing, #printer, #working, #network, #warning, #lights, #christmas, #tree, #laptop, #boot, #coincidence, #permission, #lock, #lead-line, #box, #hero

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm having a bad technology day. My phone keeps freezing, my printer isn't working, and our network is down. Wally: My car's warning lights look like a Christmas tree, and my laptop won't boot up. Maybe its all just coincidence but I don't think we can take that chance. May I have permission to lock myself in a lead-lined box to protect the rest of the company? The Boss: How will I know you're really in a lead-lined box? Wally: YOu'll know because your phone will be working fine. The Boss: My phone is still working that man is a hero.

Falling Off An Ergonomic Chair

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Falling Off An Ergonomic Chair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #ergonomic ball chair

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: i fell off my ergonomic ball chair and broke my back. dilbert: i guess you'll be using a normal chair from now on. office worker yelling: i'm not a quitter! office worker on floor: maybe i'll give quitting a chance.

Wally And His Priorities

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally And His Priorities - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #meetings, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: wally, can you attend a meeting at 10 am tomorrow? wally: sure. here's a list of my projects so you can tell me which one you want to fail while i'm wasting my time at your meeting. the boss: was there a chance one of them would succeed? wally: well played

Smarter Than An Engineer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Smarter Than An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #health, #allergy, #brain, #fog, #i.q., #smart, #engineer

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i took allergy meds last night, and now i have brain fog. my i.q. is about 50% of normal capacity. boss: whoo-hoo! i'm smarter than an engineer! dilbert: not quite. i'm only down by 50%.

Brain Fog

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brain Fog - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-workers, #business, #health, #meds, #i.q., #handsome, #name

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i have brain fog from the meds i took last night. my i.q. is down by 50%, but i make up for it by being handsome. alice: sounds more like a 75% situation. dilbert: now, can someone remind me of my name?

Tina Sues Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Sues Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #lawyer, #sexist, #jokes, #not, #Funny, #illegal, #unfunny, #criminally, #last, #know

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i've contacted my lawyer to sue you for your sexist jokes. your humor is not funny, and there's a good chance it is illegal. boss to catbert: i just learned that i am criminally not funny. catbert: you're always the last to know.