Assignment Comic Strips - Page 11

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108 Results for Assignment

View 101 - 108 results for assignment comic strips. Discover the best "Assignment" comics from Dilbert.com.

Nothing Dilbert Does Matters

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Nothing Dilbert Does Matters - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motivation, accomplishment, meaning, meaningless

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Dilbert: I completed my assignment, and yet I feel no sense of accomplishment. Could it be because nothing I do makes any difference in the world? Boss: I was going to tell you that, but I didn't want to demotivate you.

Second Opinion

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Second Opinion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clarification, confusion, instructions, leadership, boss, flake

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Dilbert: Yesterday I asked for clarification on my assignment. But your clarification sounded nothing like the original assignment. Boss: Sometimes it's good to get a second opinion. Dilbert: Not from the same person.

Elbonian Sales Video Assignment

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Elbonian Sales Video Assignment  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags culture, catch-22, misunderstanding, communication

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Boss: Dilbert, I'm putting you in charge of making a persuasive sales video for our Elbonian clients. Make sure you read their wikipedia page first so you understand the nuances of their culture. Wikipedia: In the Elbonian culture, showing someone a sales video is punishable by dead.

How Long It Will Take

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How Long It Will Take  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, assignment, deadline, incompetence, meeting, co-workers, months

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boss: can you have it done in a week? dilbert: not if i have to work with other employees. given the galactic incompetence of my co-workers, it would probably take seven to non months. boss: i'll give you two weeks. dilbert: that's how long it will take to set up the first meeting.

It Is A Burden To Know You

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It Is A Burden To Know You  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, technology, video, assignment, homework, helpful, enemies

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co-worker: did you watch the video i sent? dilbert: it's a burden to know you because you keep assigning me homework. co-worker: i'm trying to be helpful. dilbert: can you help my enemies instead?

No Update Needed

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No Update Needed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, assignment, face mask, managers & supervisors, project, robot, sarcasm, technology, update

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asok: would you like an update on my project? boss: no, not really. i only give you the projects i don't care about. asok: i just lost my will to live. boss: that is exactly why i plan to replace you with a robot.

Bribe One Judge

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Bribe One Judge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, consumer, lawsuit, assignment, judge, bribe, lawyer, insult

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dogbert to boss: you have over seven hundred consumer lawsuits filed against you. if i can get them all assigned to the same judge, you only have to bribe one person. boss: are you even a lawyer? dogbert: heavens, no, and i didn't come here to be insulted.

Urgent Assignment

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