Brown Bag Lunches Comic Strips - Page 11

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View 101 - 110 results for brown bag lunches comic strips. Discover the best "Brown Bag Lunches" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2010's comic on:


Tags #intern, #pretend, #owner, #yell, #mouth open, #fire, #annoyed, #surprise, #power, #apologize, #point

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Dilbert says, "Asok, I want you to make decision as if you owned the company." Asok says, "Clear out your desk, you worthless bag of meat!" Asok says, "Sorry. The fake power went to my head for a moment."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2010's comic on:


Tags #recalibarating, #faith in humanity, #reading opinions, #message boards

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Dilbert: what are you up to? Im recalibrating my lack of faith in humanity, dilbertL will this take long? Dogbert: no, I start by reading opinions awn message boards and.... Dilbert: I can come back later. Dogbert: You ignorant juice bag

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2009's comic on:


Tags #bank, #buyout, #financial crisis, #economy, #ridicule

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Now that you've run your bank into the ground, I plan to buy it for a dollar." Dogbert says, "In phase two I'll use common business words to insult you for a job poorly done." Dogbert says, "What do you think of that, you big fiduciary bag?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2009's comic on:


Tags #frustrated, #angry, #cruel, #mean, #complaining

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "Being evil used to mean something." Catbert says, "These days I can cut salaries by 10% and people will thank me for not firing them!" The boss says, "So you want to help me eat employee lunches from the break room fridge?" Catbert says, "I'd like that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2009's comic on:


Tags #ridicule, #age, #generation, #blame, #prediction, #criticism, #angry, #annoyed

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Asok says, "Your age group has destroyed the hopes of my entire generation." Asok says, "Your parents were the so-called 'Greatest generation.' I wonder what your age group will be known as." Asok says, "I'll bet it includes the word 'Bag.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2010's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #bribe, #monkey god, #oobanoobah, #minister of mud, #steal, #office

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The Boss says, "We'll lose the Elbonian Project unless we give their minister of mud some? incentive." Wally says, "You mean a bribe?" The Boss says, "No. A bribe would be illegal." The Boss says, "Take a bag of gold to Elbonia and leave it by the statue of the monkey god, Oobanoobah." The Boss says, "If Oobanoobah does not accept your offering, by Elbonian law it becomes unclaimed property." The Boss says, "Take the gold to the unclaimed property desk at the ministry of mud." The Boss says, "Ring the bell and ask for the minister of mud. Give him the unclaimed property and a copy of our bid." Wally says, "What if the monkey god accepts the gold and I'm the only witness?" The Boss says, "What?" Wally says, "How much monkey god gold are we talking?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #slide show, #test, #waste of time, #arms out, #angry, #cranky, #data, #business

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Dilbert says, "I'd like to thank all of the people who helped design the technology test parameters." Dilbert says, "Thanks to your input, the test had nothing in common with how things work in the real world." Dilbert says, "So I wasted two weeks of my life on a test that is not only meaningless..." Dilbert says, "...But alos dangerously misleading." Dilbert says, "This slide shows the gap between the test results and reality." The Boss says, "We'll use the test results anyway because it's the only data we have." Dilbert says, "Fine. I hope you all choke to death on your lunches." The Boss says, "Why's he so cranky?" Wally says, "Something about data."

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Share November 19, 2006's comic on:


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First Date "Do you feel like doing some conversation?" "Okay. I love talking." "Do you like politics?" "No." "Science and technology?" "Not really." "War?" "No." "Sports?" "No." "Current events?" "No." "What's left?" "I like to talk about my hair." "Um...okay, we can try that." "This brown is a browner brown than I wanted." "Right. Are we done with hair?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2005's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #fly on plane, #guidelines, #key employees, #ceo, #presdient, #same flight, #interns, #run with sciccors, #plastic bags, #over heads

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I have new guidelines on who can fly on the same plane." "We can't risk losing too many key employees." "The CEO and the president are not allowed to be on the same flight." "No more than three vice presidents may be on the same flight." "What are the guidelines for interns?" "Infinite interns are allowed on the same flight. You are also allowed to run with scissors and put plastic bags over your heads." "How many interns are allowed per plastic bag?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new faces, #introductions, #asok the intern, #signed to everyone, #conference room, #upsetting introductions

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "I see some new faces, let's go around the table and introduce ourselves." Asok starts, "I'm Asok, the intern." Asok points to The Boss and says, "I report to you." Asok points to Alice and says, "But I also report to Alice on a dotted line." Asok points to Carol and says, "And I report to Carol, on a fuzzy, thin line." Asok continues, "I have a blinking, irregular line to Wally, and a wavy, brown line to Dilbert." Alice begs, "Please... make this stop." Asok continues, "And a disturbing, imaginary line to a food-service cashier who touched my hand while giving me change."